Sunday, June 15, 2008

Today's Sermon: Pentecost 5, Genesis18: 1-15, 21:1-7


Last week, Father David started our series on the story of Abraham, who is revered as the father of three faiths: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. One of the images that he presented to us was that of journeying on. It’s a powerful image, that our faith is not a static thing, but a journey. It is a journey that is represented in the life of Abraham, both in the physical journey from Ur to Canaan, and it is a journey to a covenant agreement between the one true God and his people. That journey image applies to families as well. I mention that, because the story of Abraham is really about all of us, because we are all children of Abraham. His story is the story of his family as well.


Every family is a journey of sorts. Every family has a story about its beginnings. My mother met my father in France in World War II. They were both in the US Army there, my father in Paris, my mother in Alsace. They had grown up a mere five miles apart, in Jersey City, New Jersey. But they courted, and became engaged, in the fields of sweet peas in France. It took a journey of almost four thousand miles from west to east, and another four thousand miles back again, for them to become the family that would adopt me, and raise me, back home in Jersey City.

Other families’ journeys are even more remarkable. One of my professors and his wife traveled 7000 miles to adopt a little girl in China. It was a journey of love and of commitment, one that they would use to build their own family with a child whom they had never met until one day in Shanghai.


Sometimes the journeys are metaphorical. We recently heard of the death of Mildred Jeter Loving, a woman of color whose marriage to a white man violated Virginia’s anti-miscegenation laws, beginning a battle that rose all the way to the Supreme Court. It caused the end of laws that prohibited interracial marriage. For two average persons, one white, one black, who simply wanted to love each other, their journey toward legalization of their union was not measured in miles. It was measured in tears, in jail time, in threats against their lives, in loneliness.

Think of that wonderful old musical “Fiddler on the Roof.” Each of Tevye’s daughters marries in a way that is inimical to their father, a devout and traditional Jew. The journey is not only that of the young women and the men whom they choose, it is that of the whole family from a way of life that seemed settled and solid, to one that would scatter them around the globe, away from their little village, away from the traditions that had seemed so inevitable and comforting.

Abraham and Sarah are embarking on their own particular family journey in our passage from Genesis this morning. The Lord is making them a promise that on the face of it seems absurd: they will have a son. Sarah, standing outside the tent eavesdropping, laughs out loud. She’s in her eighties, and Abraham is even older. They’ve long since given up on the idea that they would have children. You’ll remember in last week’s story from the Old Testament, when God sends Abram out to Canaan , he says “I will make of you a great nation.” It’s hard to make a great nation from a man when he and his wife are old, and they have no children of their own. Abram has started on this journey, both a journey of travel to Canaan, and a family journey that will lead to the birth of Isaac, but that boy hasn’t been conceived yet.


If ever there was a situation where the word “inconceivable” would be more apropos, I can’t think of one.

So on this journey, some visitors show up at Abraham’s encampment. They’ve come for a very specific purpose. It’s not clear who they are…the text seems to imply they are angels, but one of them, or all three together, seem to be the Lord, with whom Abraham has been having all those interesting conversations. Abraham shows them traditional Middle Eastern hospitality, offering them water and food and rest under a shady tree. We still see it in nomadic herder traditions. You never know when you are going to be stuck out on the trail with little resources, so the rule is you always offer hospitality to the traveler passing through, since you may be in the same boat some day (or on the same camel!)

They are there to reinforce the covenant that the Lord has made with Abraham, to remind him that in exchange for Abraham’s devotion to the one true God, Abraham will become the progenitor of a great nation. A reminder of that inconceivable thing, that Abraham will have a son. And Abraham laughs, and Sarah laughs.


And yet, when Sarah laughs, the Lord is aggravated with her, and calls her on it: “Why did Sarah laugh? Is anything too wonderful for the Lord?” Sarah, frightened, says “I didn’t say that.” And the Lord comes right back at her, “Oh yes you did!”

A remarkable exchange, wouldn’t you say? To have God standing up close and personal, getting into your face. To have God telling you that your journey didn’t end with your arrival in Canaan. Oh, no, it has only started. Is anything too wonderful for the Lord?

Apparently not. Our reading leaps ahead in the story, and Abraham, at one hundred years of age, becomes the father of Isaac. Isaac, whose name means “he laughs.” Isaac, the precious culmination of a journey that began with a promise from God, a promise of family, not only of the next generation, but of a thousand thousand generations to come. Is anything too wonderful for the Lord? Can the Lord make a family of three, and thence a family of three hundred million, like stars in the sky or grains of sand by the ocean? Can the Lord put father Abraham on the path of this family journey?


The Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh : says this of families: "If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. all of them are alive in this moment. each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people."

We read this story forward from Abraham, to Isaac, to all the generations that are to come. But can we read the story backward? Can we trace back on the palms of our hands all those generations that preceded us? Can we look back through generation before generation, a genealogy called a toledot in the ancient scriptures, and link ourselves back to that moment when the Lord said to Abraham, “I will surely return to you in due season, and your wife Sarah will have a son.”

Here is the gift of that story: we can trace back on the palms of our hands. We can link back through the generations, all the way back to father Abraham. The inconceivable gift of the Lord is passed through all those generations to us. Abraham’s covenant with God is passed through the hundreds of generations. God’s love for us, and commitment to us, is passed back from us through all the generations that preceded us.

And it’s important to look backward as well as forward, because there are lessons to be learned among our forebears. For me, one of the most comforting ones is to look at those in the generations who were less than perfect. Think of Peter, who denied his Lord. Think of David, who took Bathsheba and had her husband killed. Think of Rahab, a prostitute. Think of Jacob, who deceived his father to steal his brother’s inheritance. God has worked through them – even the ones who were murderers, even the ones who were adulterers, even the ones who were liars, even the ones who were a disappointment to God. God has worked through them all, for His purposes.


If God can use people like this, perhaps he can even use us for his purposes.

So here’s a thought: when three strangers show up at your door, welcome them in. The message may be a surprising one, an inconceivable one. God has use for you, and your journey will link you to all who have come before, and all who are to come.


Amen.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Saturday Stuff

PH and the team will hit the 1000 mile mark very soon, putting them 1/3 of the way through the race. Everyone seems to be holding up well. Today they will be doing a pretty brutal climb in Cimarron - should take them over 10,000 feet elevation. Intense!

It will be milder for me, just going to a friends's ordination, then icon writing. Glad to be doing something mellow. It is a beautiful morning, so I think it's time for a walk.

Friday, June 13, 2008

If It's Friday, It Must Be Utah

PH and the team just made it across Arizona, and are now in Utah. 650 miles down, 2365 to go. Wild and crazy guys! They had a breakdown with the RV in Arizona (the charge for which - $4K - is sitting on my American Express card right now) - but it seems to be resolved for now.

Things are quieter here at Casa Mibi on my day off. The carpet cleaners came at 7:30 this morning. Supposedly, it was supposed to dry within two hours. We're at 5 hours now, and it isn't dry. Oh well. at least it looks clean. I'm glad I got it done. Now I just want it to finish drying so I can move the smaller furniture back into the room and out of the kitchen.

I think it's time to escape the house and wander around the mall...

Update: The team is now in Colorado. Three states in one day. Wow!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Random Dots of Thursday

  • Alone in the church office, since rector and wife (the church admin) are away today. An odd sensation!

  • PH and the team are into Arizona, having finished the California leg of the race. They aren't going very quickly, but that was strategic on their part - slow and steady gets you to the end of the race. Going too fast at the beginning burns you out. Three Time Stations down, only 51 to go!

  • Sermon and powerpoint slides are done for this Sunday. Time to start on Wednesday's homily and the sermon for next Sunday. I am telling myself what good experience this is for me.

  • Spent yesterday lunchtime with the other priests of the region and our Bishop Coadjutor, who is a very cool guy. I think he will enliven this diocese, which (although the largest in the US and the oldest) has gotten rather worn down by the legal battles over who stays and who leaves TEC, and whether they relinquish their property as church canons state or keep it. Oh, I will be happy when the lawsuits are decided!

  • Still no paperwork back from last semester's schoolwork. I actually got a call from one of my profs yesterday who couldn't find the grade for my final paper (delivered in early March) and wanted to know if I had a copy of it. Sigh...I shouldn't be surprised. There is - believe it or not - one class that ended in March 2007 for which I have not received a final grade.

  • I'm fantasizing about a week of vacation with PH after this internship ends, and my three day interim ministry class which immediately follows it. It will have to be close, given the gasoline prices, but even a long weekend somewhere in the Shenandoah would revive me.

  • I will be going to meet with the Standing Committee of the Diocese on July 17th for the interview for candidacy for ordination. The Commission on Ministry recommended enthusiastically in favor, but in moments of paranoia, I fear the Standing Committee will start all over again with the questions from ground zero. Maybe not. My friend L will be meeting with them in June, so we shall see what her experience is. Since she and I are alike in many ways (with the exception of my kids being more or less grown and her still being pretty young), our interviews have been quite similar.

  • And as my Commission on Ministry Liaison was on sabbatical, and thus not there to support me, for the COM interview, my Standing Committee Liaison will also be gone for my meeting with them. Ah well, what doesn't kill makes me me strong.

  • Temperatures right now are a balmy 79 degrees. Humidity is low. Thanks be to God! Another few days of heat indexes of 110 and high humidity, and I wouldn have melted into a puddle on the floor.

  • Carpet cleaners come to our little townhouse tomorrow. A good thing, since between the cats puking and PH running his bike into the house, that neutral beige carpet is looking pretty grungy. It should stay clean for, oh, about three days.

  • PH (along with his father and brother) will be on the ride for Father's Day. So do you think I should get him a massage for when he comes home as his FD present?

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Sum, Sum, Summertime

Yes, it's hot here in Your Nation's Capitol. Once again, we should have heat indexes over 110. I've got on my coolest flax linen outfit, since I've got a meeting several miles away with my peer group - we all are doing summer parish internships. It will be nice to see my friends and be somewhere different for a change. Tomorrow is a Clericus meeting for our region, so I'll go with my supervisor - we're meeting with our Bishop Coadjutor, so it should be interesting.

PH is out in CA. His race across America will start tomorrow. I cannot imagine cycling across the desert. Then again, I can't imagine cycling any sort of long distance. Just sayin'.

Stay cool and peaceful.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Random Dots of Day Off

  • an early-morning walk
  • relatively pain-free Physical Therapy
  • new Croc sandals
  • pedicure (couldn't have one without the other)
  • a little fun housewares shopping
  • food shopping
  • late light lunch
  • reading fun stuff
  • phone call from PH as he was heading into Iowa

Life is good.

Alone

PH left for the Race Across America yesterday morning. His brother had driven down from Steeltown to retrieve him and the two tons of assorted gear the prior night, arriving after a bad storm and tornadoes had knocked out our power. I had intended to cook a big farewell meal, but we ended up going out for Indian food. So yesterday they left at 6:15 a.m., heading first to Steeltown, then on the the City with Big Shoulders and their parents' house for the night. Today they drive on to Mile-High City to pick up another couple of the support driver team members, then on to CA.

It was odd to be alone in the house yesterday. I worked from home, and did some house work as well as office work. I ate some food that I shouldn't have, and watched two movies on Netflix Instant-View. It felt like a day when I just wanted to cocoon a bit.

Today will be busier. It's my official day off from work, so I'll go to Physical Therapy, do some food shopping, make some gazpacho, go to L's house to help her pack up for moving, try to start organizing some of my books...or maybe not. I did walk for 45 minutes this a.m. - it's going to be in the 90s today and I don't do well in the heat, so I like to get the exercising done in the early hours while it's still around 70 degrees.

The counters:
Weeks of Summer Internship Left: 6
Days Until PH Comes Home: 13
Months Until Graduation: 12

Stay chill.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Today's Sermon: Noah and the Flood, a Love Story

Pentecost 3, Year A

Gen 6: 9-22; 7:24; 8: 14-19 (Noah and the Flood)
Romans 1: 16-17; 3:22b-31
Matt 7:21-29

You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you that our Old Testament story, that of Noah and the ark, is really a love story.

For most of us, who have heard it so many times, it feels like a children’s story. Noah, building the great big boat in his back yard. Happy animals, lined up two by two, walking up the gangplank. Great rains, with the boat floating around in the water. Then the rain abates, the sun comes out, the dove brings back a branch with leaves on it – that bit of new growth that the writer Frederick Buechner calls “a sprig of hope”- and the boat settles on top of a mountain. It’s not quite like what the movie “Evan Almighty” portrayed, with the ark settling at the edge of the US Capitol, but seems like a happy story. We read it as a story of great charm…but is it really?

Let’s go back to the words of the text. How does the story begin? “And God said to Noah, "I have determined to make an end of all flesh, for the earth is filled with violence because of them; now I am going to destroy them along with the earth.”

God is so angry with the way humanity is behaving that he is going to destroy them all. He is going to abolish everything he created, all those beautiful things that were part of the act of Creation we heard about a few weeks ago. God is deeply unhappy.

Have you ever been that angry?

You’ve seen children act this way – when my daughter was little, if she didn’t like what she had crayoned, she’d sometimes just scribble the whole sheet with the black crayon in frustration.

God sounds like he’s frustrated in the same way. Here he made this wonderful earth and all its creatures, and the pinnacle of his work was the creation of humanity…and humanity disappointed him.

Now remember, God had laid out the ground rules. If you don’t believe me, go home and read Leviticus and Deuteronomy in your bibles – long lists of what to do and how to do it.

Rules…not suggestions, not guidelines. Rules.

Now, the thing about rules is that they imply that something happens when you don’t obey them. It’s like a conversation I had last year with my friend Jack’s little girl Ella. Ella was three at the time, and the whole family was awaiting the birth of a new baby, a little sister for Ella.
When I saw Jack and Ella, I said “Ella, are you excited about the new baby?” “Oh yes, but you know the baby isn’t here yet.” “I know, honey, but you’re going to be a big sister soon! That must be exciting!” “Yes, but Daddy says I have to help. I have to be a good girl.” “Well, gee, Ella, I know you’re a good girl, that shouldn’t be too hard.” “I’m a good girl, but sometimes I misbehave. I don’t like it when I misbehave because when I don’t behave Daddy says there are CONSEQUENCES!”

Yes, there are consequences. That’s certainly the case in the story of Noah and the Flood.

The people misbehave, and there are consequences. God tells Noah what those consequences are: He is going to destroy everything.

Now, when people tell me they don’t like the Old Testament, because the God of the Old Testament is a vengeful God, this is the kind of thing they talk about. The people don’t follow the rules. God punishes them. It happens a lot in the Old Testament, because the people of Israel are, as the Scripture says, a stiff-necked people.

They’re a little like my son S, who’s 22 now, but when he was a teen and first got his driver’s license, he was convinced that he knew it all and didn’t have to follow my rules. One night he asked to borrow the car so he could go to a friend’s house. Frankly, I was happy when he began to drive, because that saved me from having to drive him everywhere, but there were upsides and downsides to letting him drive. He wasn’t always good about getting back in time. This particular night, I reminded him he had to be back by 11 pm, because our city had a curfew for teen drivers. I liked the curfew, because I knew I wouldn’t fall asleep until he got home safely. I reminded him “You know, driving is a privilege. If you want to use the car, you’ve got to follow the rules. Be sure you’re back by 11. Call me if you think you’re going to be late.”

You can guess what happened. He didn’t get back by 11. I had dozed off – my first indicator that something was wrong was when the phone rang at midnight. It was a police officer: “Mrs. T? Did you know your son S was out driving past curfew? We’re down on Military Road. Do you want to come get him and the car?” So my husband and I got up, drove down to retrieve the car and a very nervous 17 year old.

He was worried about what my reaction was, and he had good reason to be.

“What were you thinking! How come you didn’t come home on time? You know there’s a curfew.”

“Gee, Mom, I lost track of the time.”

“That’s no excuse. You broke the rules. You can’t use the car for a month!”

Suffice to say, I was pretty angry.

And in my anger, I imposed consequences on S for breaking the rules. But then, my husband PH, my wonderfully calm husband, quietly said, “Mibi, I’m wondering if S might come up with another punishment instead of being denied the use of the car for a whole month.”

PH knew that the consequences that I spoke of would be as much a punishment for us as for S, since we’d be the ones driving him to work and to other activities. He also wanted S to take some responsibility for his actions.

S proposed an alternative that meant that he couldn’t use the car for two weeks, but he would do some additional chores and errands. He knew he had done something wrong, he was required to pay for it in his actions, but he also knew that the punishment could have been a lot worse.

It was a moment of saving grace. A bit of mercy, while still recognizing S’s responsibility for his actions.

And it’s that saving grace that is God’s gift in the story of Noah and the Flood. Even in the midst of God’s towering anger, even as God was planning the destruction of the earth and everything in it, he stops. He sees one righteous man, Noah. He sees a shaft of light amidst the storm clouds of a deeply dysfunctional world. And he holds back, out of love for the possibilities of humankind. Instead of killing everybody and everything on the earth because of humankind’s misdeeds, he says, “I’m going to give them a chance to start over, and I’m going to use this human being to make that happen.”

Here’s a God who is not simply a vengeful judge, this is a God who so loves what He has created that even when his creation is misused, he still wants to give them another chance. It’s a moment of hopefulness, a moment of saving grace. He says, “Yes, I have to clean house here – these people have broken my rules in a deep and disturbing way - but I will give humanity a second chance.” And so he instructs Noah to build the ark, to bring his family and the animals aboard, and he allows that shaft of light to shine through the forty days of rainfall…a new beginning for humanity, a new beginning for the earth.

This is God’s great love story, to be willing to give a second chance when it seems we don’t deserve one. It didn’t just happen in Noah’s time. It happens to us every day.

Jesus talks about this in an oblique way in the Gospel today. He warns us that we will fall short of following the rules. He says if we only go through the motions of following him, we’ve missed the mark. If we don’t follow the will of his Father in heaven, even if we go through the motions by saying we’re Christians, we’re out the door. We haven’t built our house on rock, as Jesus says. He warns us that there are consequences for our actions. In the New Covenant, the focus is a little different: it’s not about the kinds of rules that are outlined in the Torah, in the Old Testament, where it’s about not mixing wool and linen and not eating pigs or shrimp. It’s about who we honor in our life. If we honor God, and let that be the guiding principle in our life, we’re on the right track, and we are welcome.

But that’s hard. We forget, we misstep, every day, often in little ways. Each time we make a rude gesture to the guy who cut us off in traffic, each time we contemplate the extra dollar because the cashier miscounted our change, each time we think unkindly of the relative who bores us with her endlessly repetitive stories, we forget who is the guiding principle in our life.
And that is frightening, because Jesus has told us in the gospel that if we don’t live in a way that honors His father, he will declare that he never knew us…he will deny us. And that’s the last thing we want, even though we fail and will most likely continue to fail.

And that’s where the words of Paul in today’s reading from the Letter to the Romans give us an insight on how God’s saving grace works in our lives today. Paul knows who we are, in all our weakness: “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” but he shows us that shaft of light, he reminds us of that saving grace: because we believe in Christ, and because of Christ’s redemption of us by dying on the Cross, we are saved. We have broken the rules, and there are consequences. But the great gift of God’s love for us is that we are saved, in spite of our failures, because we have God’s son to redeem us. That is love, even when we don’t feel we deserve it. That is grace. And that is the promise that will hold us up when we most need it, now and forever.

Amen.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Stuff

Today is my day off. First time in a year I've had a situation where I had a whole day off. So I went to physical therapy (and the associated orthopedic surgeon) and went shopping. Found two pairs of very cute shoes at TJ Maxx. I've discovered I can't wear the high heels anymore. Ah, well, it wouldn't make anyone think I'm tall for me to wear four-inch heels.

PH is taking me out to dinner tonight. He'll ride in the MS150 this weekend, a training ride for his Race Across America, which starts on the 11th. So he will be gone for two weeks starting on the 6th, and I think that's the longest we've ever been apart. Two weeks of Slimfast and Netflix, I think.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

New Things


Today is my first day at my summer field internship at Saint Diverse. An apt name, since it is diverse in all ways. Single priest on staff, so I'll get to do lots of stuff. I'll even get to preach five Sundays and three Wednesdays.


Unlike Saint Middle School, where I do Field Ed during the school year, Saint Diverse is just a few miles from home, about 15 minutes in rush hour traffic. Given that gas is now $4 a gallon, that's a good thing. Saint Middle School is 40 miles away.


It's such an interesting thing seeing how different priests approach the work and the liturgy each in their own way. I spent a couple hours this morning with my supervisor, learning how he does things and why he's made the choices he has. I'm fortunate to have such thoughtful supervisors.
It is still odd to be away from school. I just ordered some books for the honors thesis - preliminary summer reading. I've started laying out the beginnings of my summer pastoral care project. I feel like I should be doing more, but with the sermon prep, the summer project, and beginning the reading for the thesis, I probably shouldn't worry about it.
Luther was, in his early life, afflicted with an overly developed sense of scrupulosity. I fear I've got tendencies in that direction, too.
PH is riding the two-day MS150 in Capital of the Confederacy this weekend, a training ride for his participation starting June 11th in the Race Across America, a 3000 mile event going form San Diego to Annapolis. He's part of a four-person team and they expect it will take them 7 1/2 (!) days. I am riding neither 150 miles, nor 3000, just trying to get in a 45 minute walk every day in hopes of continuing to lose weight - I've gotten stuck on a weight-loss plateau and I know that only exercise will get me past it.
So that's the news around here. I've got Vestry Meeting at Saint Diverse tonight - always an interesting way to know what the dynamics are in a parish.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Transitions


Yesterday, I attended Litigator's college graduation out in California. His hasn't always been the easiest of roads - it took him 5 1/2 years to complete his degree - but he is doing wonderfully, and I am so proud of him. Since I very much wanted to be at the graduation at Big Old Seminary today, I flew out to LA very early in the morning yesterday and took the red-eye flight back last night, arriving at Big Old Seminary at a quarter of the hour when the ceremony was to begin.


About that early flight yesterday - it was scheduled to depart at 5:45 a.m., so I set the alarm on my watch for 4 am so I could take a shower and have a healthy breakfast. I slept through the alarm and awoke with a start (and a moderately loud "oh, @#$@" that roused poor PH) at 5:11 a.m. Don't know how I did it, but I did make the flight, running down the concourse with my sandals in my hand since it was faster than stopping to put them back on after going through security. The rest of the flight out was uneventful, although it took a while for my heart to stop pounding. I was looking forward to getting to LAX, meeting up with StrongOpinions, whose flight was set to arrive 15 minutes after mine, picking up the rental car and heading to Litigator's place. SO, however, missed her flight, so I sat around LAX for two and a half hours - and it really isn't an airport which is friendly to those who wait for an incoming passenger. When we went to pick up the rental car, there was a line of 70 people (no, I am not exaggerating here) waiting. So we got up to Litigator's several hours later than planned, but still in plenty of time to go to the graduation. His school (of Communications, Media, and the Arts) graduated something around 700 students. Names indicated heritage that was Latino, Armenian, Hawaiian, Italian, German, Georgian, Chinese, Filipino, French, Japanese, Swedish, Irish - you name it). A large percentage of students were the first generation in their family to go to college; an equally large number worked while they studied. A very exciting and impressive group of young people, and it was wonderful to see Litigator amongst his friends, who hold him dear as we do.
This morning's graduation ceremony at BOS was less than a tenth the size. Our Presiding Bishop was there, receiving an honorary degree, as was a former BOS graduate who is now Primate of Sudan, who also received an honorary degree. The address to the students was given by a beloved professor, a very gifted speaker and homiletician - our class will be hard pressed to find a speaker as wonderful. If you want to read the address it can be found here: https://www.vts.edu/ftpimages/95/misc/misc_54414.pdf
It was wonderful and sad to bid farewell to the seniors, who enriched our lives in ways both spiritual and more mundane. They will strengthen the church and the larger world, just as the young people I saw graduate yesterday in the California sun will transform their world.
Godspeed!

Monday, May 19, 2008

In the Liminal Space

Yeah, "liminal" is one of those seminarian words, isn't it?

So this is the week between the end of school and the beginning of the summer internship. I'm trying to chill, but it isn't coming naturally.

The day began with a trip to Physical Therapy, to continue dealing with my rapidly aging shoulder and computer-mousey elbow. Done by 8:30, and I headed back home.

At home, I began to tackle the desk, which looks like the paper volcano erupted. My first pass through was to find all papers that were shreddable, since they had the big Shred-It truck on campus this morning. Got rid of a bunch of old stuff and it felt cathartic. I need to go back up there and seriously clear and file and organize, but I felt like taking advantage of what a gorgeous morning it was, so I went for a 45 minute walk. The first honeysuckle is out, and the sweet luscious smell was better than Prozac.

So now I'm back from the walk, getting ready for my Healthy Choice lunch (I'm trying not to look at the ingredient list) to brace myself for the desk. I expect it will take me all afternoon, but that's okay. For the first time in a very long time, I don't have anything else to do.

I have a plan of attack to start off the honors thesis, but it won't be this week.

Just waiting for the Netflix movies to show up...life will be complete.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Hallelujah!

All exams are done. All papers are in. To wrap everything up with a bow, I had my candidacy interview with the Commission on Ministry today and they said they will enthusiastically recommend me for candidacy.

A surprising moment: I went to the chapel to pray and calm myself for a few minutes before going to the candidacy interview (some of the interviewers have the reputation of being snarky, so I was a tad worried), and my advisor happened to be there. I really appreciate her great gifts as a teacher and a scholar, but she isn't the warmest, fuzziest person in the world. She came over and said, "You've got the candidacy interview at 1?" "Yes" And she put her arms around me and gave me a big hug, and said "It will go very well. Don't be afraid." It was twice as sweet in its unexpectedness.

I guess this makes me a senior, and a candidate. Remarkable - it seems to have gone so quickly, although in the midst of it, it sometimes seemed interminable.

Thanks be to God.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Some Churches have Church Cats

Our seminary chapel has a raccoon. Actually, now we have several raccoons. Apparently, a female raccoon set up house in one of the window wells, then gave birth to seven baby raccoons (what are they called? Kits, maybe?). One of the sacristans spotted them, at which point the mother raccoon ran away. The groundskeepers removed the little ones from the window well and put them in a box with a towel in the bottom, then put the box in a sheltered place near where they came from. They are quite beautiful and their fur looks exquisitely soft. I hope the mother comes back soon for them. Otherwise, heaven only knows how long they'll survive.

Speaking of surviving, tomorrow is exam day. Systematics in the morning, Ethics at night. Oh, my!

The day starts off with a bang. I'm on chapel team this week for Morning Prayer, and on Thursdays we are permitted to do "experimental" services. So we will be having a bluegrass Morning Prayer, at which I will be officiant. I have no idea if this will be successful or not (twasn't my idea, but I'm game for it). I do know that it will help put the stress of the exams in perspective.

And if that doesn't do it, I'll go check out the baby raccoons again. Or eat some chocolate. Or both.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Little Things Keep You Going

It's the little things that keep me chugging along in this crazy final week of school.

I took a break this afternoon and got my hair cut. I now look like a reasonably well-groomed grown-up again, rather than a bag lady.

At lunch, a friend was babysitting the little two year old boy with whom I spend my Tuesday afternoons. He's the son of one of my professors, and is the coolest kid. He looked up and saw me and said "Hey, it's Mibi!" Pretty good for a just-turned-two-year-old. And gratifying that he hasn't been traumatized by our time together...although it was a wee bit embarrassing when he wanted me to sing "I don't want a pickle, just want a ride on my motorcycle." Bad music of the 60's lives on in my feeble brain, and I'm passing it on to future generations.

The trio sang the prelude at Morning Prayer today. "Lift Thine Eyes" from Mendelssohn's Elijah. It went remarkably well given how high the piece is and how early it was in the morning. What with the brutal rainstorms, we had rather low attendance, but those who came seemed to like it.

Last day of classes today. A three-hour Systematics lecture...OMG. My brain was pretty fried by the end of it. She had to make up a prior class that she had missed, and I'm glad we covered the material, but I needed to get a black coffee and a KitKat bar to make it through the second half.

We had a special noonday Eucharist in support of the victims of the cyclone in Burma and the flooding in Namibia (we have fellow students from both countries)...and then there was the earthquake in China. It feels like the planet is falling apart. When the NPR reporter on the scene gets weepy doing an interview, you know things are bad. We pray for those in pain, either physical, emotional, or spiritual. God be with them.

Several of us ladies are going to the Ritz Carlton for high tea next Tuesday to celebrate graduation or moving up a year...it's a necessary mental health activity and cheaper than therapy, but not by much.

Time to write the sermon that goes with my Ethics final paper...

Thursday, May 08, 2008

No More Teenagers

As of 12:07 am, I will have no more teenagers. StrongOpinions, my youngest child, will turn 20 then. She called up this evening to tell us she is now officially a junior in college, having completed her exams successfully. Given that she took a semester off, that's pretty remarkable.

Than again, she's pretty remarkable most all the time.

Happy birthday, SO!

PH just reminded me that I have been raising teenagers for almost 25 years (I raised two stepsons as well as the three kiddos that I birthed).

Perhaps what's truly remarkable is that I've survived it!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Checking Items off the List

The sermon for Trinity Sunday to be delivered in Homiletics class on Friday is done. It's not a work of art, but it'll preach.

The Systematics project is done and delivered. Bless the dear sainted professor, she felt badly that our prior project was not graded prior to our doing this last project, so she is counting the last project as a portion of the exam, and reducing the number of essays we have to write on the final. This is a majorly good thing.

The honors thesis proposal and all its associated paperwork are done. The documents are signed. The pre-registration for Fall '08 is signed and delivered to the registrar.

I have an appointment for a haircut on Monday so I don't look like a shaggy dog at candidacy interviews.

I'm more than halfway through the Ethics paper. Most of the back half is stuff I enjoy doing, like outlining how I would teach the subject of the thesis to my parish, and sketching a sermon on the subject. It finally feels like this will get done on time.

I need to study for the Systematics and Ethics finals, but that feels strangely manageable.

And candidacy interviews are entirely in the hands of the Holy Spirit, so there's little I can do except be well-groomed and well-medicated (just kidding).

Friday, May 02, 2008

TGIF

So I've got 9 pages of notes thus far from my readings for the Ethics final paper, which has a limit of 6-10 pages. I'm not done reading for it yet - that means maybe another three or four pages of notes to be written. The good thing is that once I get through the note-taking phase, I can turn this porcine verbiage into a silk purse, or at least a pleather purse, within the length limit fairly quickly.

It's just that tomorrow I have Fat Club first thing in the morning, icon writing at noon until 2 or 2:30, Saint Middle School contemporary service 41 miles away with set-up starting at 4, then taking PH out for his birthday dinner at 8:30. That pretty much kills Saturday.

Sunday I've got Saint Middle School all morning, leaving the house at 7:15 and getting home probably around 3 pm. If I have four cups of coffee, I probably will be able to put in another 3-4 hours of work afterwards. Next week is a bear. I still haven't finished the Trinity Sunday sermon for Homiletics on Friday. Come, Holy Spirit, come!

Oh, and I've got to develop the revised version of the honors thesis proposal so I can get it approved by my advisor and the Dean and register for next fall's courses by Wednesday night.

And then, of course, I need to study for exams. One more week of classes, then reading days and exams, and of course candidacy interviews.

I can do this....can't I?

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Yes, I'm Here

It has been a rock-'em sock-'em time and it's not over yet. Another two weeks and school will be over, including the exams. One more big paper, one sermon and two exams to go. I'm feeling like I've run out of steam, but PH will be away for the next three days at a clergy conference, so I think I'll just lock myself in the library until all the writing is done. I am so looking forward to next year, when the work will be less stressful (God is laughing as I type that).

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Sermon for Sunday, April 27, 2008, Easter VI, Year A. Acts 17: 22-31

If you want to preach to a stranger, you’ve got to make yourself a little bit less of a stranger to them.

So it was for the new principal at Junior High School 22.

The new principal at Junior High School 22 wasn’t what anyone expected.

Junior High School 22 was one of the worst schools in the entire city of New York. It sat in the poverty-ridden South Bronx. It was known as a place where chaos reigned. The incidence of violence was so high that there were police patrolling the halls. Attendance was so poor that it was no wonder that test scores were the lowest in the city.

Teachers were demoralized. They could not do their jobs in this environment, and they had seen six other principals come and go in the prior decade. The parents, mostly Latino and African-American, despaired that their children would get enough education to survive in high school.

So here was this new principal, and you might understand the dismay on the faces of the parents and the teachers as he addressed them at his first parent-teacher’s meeting. What had the school board sent them?

Shimon Waronker was wearing a velvet yarmulke. The ritual tassels of his undergarments hung down. He had a full beard. He was a Hasidic Jew.

And he started to speak. He laid out his vision of what this school might become, what their children might become, in a different kind of Junior High School 22. He spoke with hope and even with love for these children, so often discarded by the system, so often dead in this neighborhood by the age of 21. He spoke of possibilities these parents and teachers had not even imagined. Magnet high schools. Scholarships. College. No one had spoken to them this way before, and some of the teachers sighed, thinking, “How naïve.”

This was a stirring speech, beautiful words. But the new principal wasn’t done yet. He repeated the whole speech, all those beautiful words, this time in fluent Spanish. Shimon Waronker had been raised in Chile. He knew how to speak their language.

And those parents and teachers began to forget the yarmulke, forget the beard, forget the tassels hanging down. No longer were they looking skeptically at a Hasidic Jew who was as different as can be. They saw a man who was willing to speak their language, in the literal and figurative sense. They saw a man who reached out to them, on their turf, in their language, to share the hope and love he felt for their children.

He was willing to engage these strangers by becoming less of a stranger himself to them.
Shimon Waronker bears more than a passing resemblance to the Apostle Paul, in the story we heard in today’s reading from the Acts of the Apostles.

Paul is preaching to the Gentiles – no surprise there. In this case, he’s preaching to Greek philosophers. He’s preaching to them on their turf, the Areopagus, or Mars Hill, in Athens. This hill is a special place. In the Greek religious tradition, it is where a supreme council of the gods meet; it is also a place where the city council meets. It is a place where the philosophers regularly gather to discuss topics of interest and to share local gossip. It is the quintessential Athenian power spot. Paul is preaching to the philosophers on their turf. He’s doing it in Greek. And he’s using a rhetorical style that is familiar to them – remember, he was raised in Hellenistic Tarsus, and although he was a Jew he learned in the Greek tradition.

Paul uses a technique that most schoolteachers know well – “Go from the known to the unknown.” You can only bring students to new material if the starting point is the things they already know. So Paul lays out his case by talking about the deep religious tradition he sees in the city of Athens. He praises the Athenians’ religiosity. He notes the many statues of gods, and one monument in particular catches his attention. An altar, on which is carved the dedication “To an unknown god.”

He’s taking a radical tack. If you’re trying to convince people to follow your God, and not their god, it seems more than passing strange to talk about their altar to their god.

But Paul is wise. He knows that you go from the known to the unknown, from the familiar and acceptable to something new and different. This going from the known to the unknown involves building a bridge, a relationship, between the known and the unknown. You get to engage in a relationship with a stranger by building familiarity, by starting with something known and familiar, and then you can stretch that relationship into something new and unfamiliar.

So when Paul talks about that altar, he uses it to make his case. He talks about it as a monument made by human hands, to a god no one knows. Then he starts telling the Athenian philosophers about a different God, his God, our God, who uses His own hands to create humankind, and everything else. This God is a known God, an immanent God, who is our Father as well as our judge, and who has sent Jesus as our savior. Our God doesn’t need monuments made by human hands, since He is the creator of all. Paul even makes his case by quoting Greek poets: the line “for we too are his offspring” comes from the Stoic poet Aratus.

Paul teaches by using what is already known to his listeners. He shares what he knows of our God by showing them how his message even resonates with their own respected sources. And in his method of making his case, Paul demonstrates that close and caring relationship between humankind and the caring God that he is describing by reaching out in a bid for relationship with these Greek philosophers, these strangers. A God who makes us all and everything in the world with His own hands, grabbing the mud and shaping us out of it, and breathing life into us. A God who is such an intimate partner that we grope for Him in the dark, that’s the God of whom Paul speaks. The relationship that Paul is trying to forge in this sermon is modeled on the very relationship that God has made with us in His act of Creation. This intimate, immanent God couldn’t be less like the indifferent, distant unknown god of that altar. How could the Greeks resist the call?

The interesting thing here is that in many ways, this doesn’t sound like the apostle Paul we’ve heard from in other stories. Paul often comes across as argumentative, even cranky. Think about him berating the Corinthians about the disputes among them. He’s heard about it from Chloe’s people. He’s harsh with them, telling them to get their act together. And how about what can only be described as a diatribe in his letter to the Galatians, who have been following another gospel than the one Paul taught them. He even acknowledges his sometimes strong temper himself : “If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Gal 1:10).

Contrast this, now, with Paul talking to these Epicurean and Stoic philosophers on the Mars Hill. His language is respectful, instructive, not harsh. He doesn’t disparage their pagan ways, he uses those ways to show them a different way, the right way, the way of the one true God. Paul preaches to the stranger by making himself a little less of a stranger to them. And in his story, Paul reminds his listeners that God Himself has done that by giving us Jesus, that “appointed man,” the one whose incarnation makes God Himself less a stranger to humanity, more comprehensible, more real.

This message in the story, to approach those whom we want to know the Gospel with respect and love, starting on their turf, in their language, is a powerful one. In our work, as we build this church, how do we bring new people to faith? Do we tell them how empty their lives are without God? Even though it may be true, it’s guaranteed to turn them away. Do we confuse them with two or three different books in front of them, when they haven’t a clue which book to use when, and which page to turn to? Suddenly, church seems like a secret club, where if you don’t know the password, you’re shut out. Who would feel like anything but a stranger in such a place?

No, the path is the one that Paul has shown us, that Shimon Waronker showed the parents and teachers of Junior High School 22. We are called to welcome people into this community of faith through love and respect. We use their language, not language that excludes or confuses. We show them a vision of God’s transformative love, one that we know from our Lord Jesus Christ, by imagery that resonates, not by grand theological statements that are not grounded in their world. We preach not just by becoming less of a stranger to them, but by helping them recognize that our God is not a stranger to them, either.

There are no guarantees, however, of complete success.

In Shimon Waronker’s case, the story thus far has been a moderately successful one. Attendance is up to 93 percent. Waronker has used his skills in tactical intelligence, learned in the Israeli army, to effectively end violence in the school. Test scores have risen to the point that the school earned an “A” rating compared to other New York schools. But it hasn’t been a total success. Some children are still failing or in trouble. Some teachers have left, finding him too controlling. But the children feel his caring and his love. They also know they can’t pull the wool over his eyes. The parents see the difference in the school and in their children. Being willing to speak their language, to treat the children and parents with love and respect, has made them open to a new vision, a transformative one.

And what of Paul? Did he meet with success on the Mars Hill? He, too got mixed reviews. In the next few verses, we learn that some who were there followed Paul. Some did not.
So too it may be with us. Some may join us, some may not. But the seeds of our love, and the seeds of God’s great love incarnate in Christ will be planted, and will bear fruit in their own time. A good welcome can only help. Sometimes the best way to preach to a stranger is to make ourselves a little less of a stranger to them first.

Amen.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Getting Things Done



I've been procrastinating. It's one of the things I do best.

Some things, though, won't wait.

It reached up to the bare edge of 80 degrees this afternoon. I came home from school, and had a choice: read and write papers, or swap out the winter clothes for the summer ones. You know I was standing there in my jeans and hoodie, sweating bullets, so the clothing swap seemed more important. A half hour later, I was even more sweaty, but I was wearing capris (yes, I can still fit into last year's lightweight capris, thank goodness) and the job was done.

I felt very proud of myself, doing something household-ish, since I've done so little of that over the past several weeks.

Then I remembered I'm leading Morning Prayer in our Small Group on Friday...off to the the various and sundry liturgical resources on my "liturgy shelf" to put that together. Another thing done. Yessss!!!

I started the reading for Ethics tomorrow, but the possibility that I might wrap up the final Systematics project tonight was nibbling around the edges of my brain, so I put down the book and started writing. The project is a women's weekend retreat related to the doctrine of sanctification; it's called "How to Be a Saint (or at Least Try) in Five Easy Lessons." That's what I've been working on for the last two hours, and I think it's done. I'll look at it afresh tomorrow and see if it still reads like a finished product. I sure hope so.

The laundry list of things I need to do is still somewhat daunting:


  • final rewrite of my sermon for Saturday night and Sunday morning and the finding of visuals for the Saturday night PowerPoint

  • reading for ethics class tomorrow (not a biggie in the grand scheme of things)

  • two study guides for my study group in Systematics (Augustine on Providence and Barth on Evil)

  • gathering up and shipping off the last of the voluminous paperwork for my candidacy interview with the Commission on Ministry

  • a major ethics paper on world hunger and debt relief, for which I've only just begun the reading

  • conversations with the two profs who may be my co-advisors for my honors thesis.

The question is this: having dived in to this afternoon of hard work, will I continue to chug along and get things done, or will this list of accomplishments for today be my excuse to become sloth-like again (see picture above)? Given that there are only three weeks until the end of the semester, I don't have that luxury, I guess.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Cowboy's 5th Birthday


Cowboy celebrates his 5th birthday, then gets engrossed in his favorite gift, a GameBoy. He' s showing the same powers of concentration as his father, and the same feet as well.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Back Home

Got to spend a lovely 36 hours at our diocesan retreat center way out west. The traffic on Friday was truly abysmal for the first 30 miles. I do not like Route 66, especially on a Friday afternoon, with or without green eggs and ham. It made me long for a car with automatic transmission. Once I got past the exurban traffic mess, though, it was absolutely beautiful. The redbuds are in bloom in all their lavender loveliness, some forsythia is still hanging on, and the other flowering trees are just glorious. Friday and Saturday were unusually warm ( into the 80s) but this morning I woke up to a driving rain. Since I had to head up to Saint Middle School and get there by 9 am (95 miles), I left the retreat center at 7 am. I kept going in and out of rainstorms, but occasionally seeing the clouds hanging like fluffy freshly washed towels atop the mountain ridge was wonderful. Not so wonderful was the huge truck on its side in the median strip of Rte 81 - it held up traffic a little bit when I was driving through, and turned into a major traffic headache when PH came through there at 1:30 pm.

Coming home meant the following:
  • wet newspaper on the step
  • wet mail in the mailbox
  • annoyed cats studiously ignoring us
  • large quantities of laundry to do
  • food shopping to do
  • organizing for a busy week.

The third load of wash is in the washer. Fortunately, I actually did a little homework while away, so I can relax, sort of, this evening.

It's good to be home.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Mapquest

I'll be going to our diocesan retreat center/camp out towards the West VA border on Friday. A lovely place, and one filled with happy memories for me. PH is actually leaving tomorrow with a bunch of buddies from church, cycling down there over two days (their route is about 140 miles). I'll have to leave very early on Sunday morning for Field Ed, but that's okay. Just to get out of the city for a day and a half, hang out with friends, and sit on the porch, rocking and reading, is a blessing.

If you want to check it out, look here: http://shrinemont.com/. Interestingly, we don't have a cathedral as our diocesan seat - we have a shrine built by hand from rocks on the property of Shrinemont, an outdoor chapel that is rustically beautiful. A good place. Thanks be.

So I mapquested the route from Big Old Seminary to Shrinemont, and it gave me a reasonable route, except for the fact that one of the roads is HOV only after 3:30 in the afternoon, and the traffic gets truly wild on it after 3 pm. I've sent a pleading email to my prof who teaches my Friday 2-3pm class asking to miss class so I beat the HOV restriction. I can hope.


Big-Hat Night Part Deux

I avoided wearing the purple dress. Wore a tasteful black dress instead...one of the few from my old life as a lobbyist that fits these days.

It's so interesting to go to these things and observe people's behavior. Some folks cozy on up to the Bishops, some are terrified by them. Some folks drink nothing, some drink too much. I'm one of the middle-ground people. Two glasses of wine, some nice conversation, especially with our Bishop Suffragan (sort of an assistant bishop), with whom I had a great conversation re doing conflict resolution and interim ministries. He and I are going to have a follow-up talk about that.

The food was undistinguished Italian. I've been spoiled by eating the real deal in Italy and in a few wonderful restaurants here in the US...and by cooking school in Venice. This is the one thing I miss from my old life - expense account lunches and dinners on someone else's dime. Of course, the rest of that old life seems pretty pointless these days.

All in all, a good night, and the black outfit was a knit, so it expanded as I ate.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Big-Hat Night

Seminarian's dinner tonight with our guy with the Big Hat (some folks call it a mitre). PH and I are going - he skipped last year's but understands he has to show up occasionally for these quasi-political events.

So the question du jour is this, argued furiously among several of my classmates when I posed it in ethics this morning: do I wear my lovely and comfortable purple dress? Would that seem too much like I'm angling for a big hat myself, or making fun of his purple shirt or something? Enquiring minds want to know! Somehow I don't think he would feel threatened by a Coldwater Creek stretchy purple schmatta (bought on sale for eighteen bucks), but who knows?

Monday, April 14, 2008

Missing Her

Strong Opinions was here for the weekend. Of course, my schedule being what it is, I didn't get to spend too much time with her, but it was good to have her home. She needed a break from the Rockies and snow, and I needed to be a mom for a few days. [Those of you with small children: hug them a lot and cherish this time when they're with you all the time. This does come to an end.] We went out to dinner last night and the conversation was wonderful She is such a special kid.

She got on a plane at 7 this morning, heading back out west to school and work. I miss her. We'd probably drive each other crazy if we lived with each other all the time now that she's an almost-adult, but still. I miss her.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

I Want One

They're little and they're cute and they get 41 mpg and I paid $3.39 a gallon for gas today.
There's a dealership about 2 miles from here.
Twenty years ago, my car lust was for a Mercedes. Now I want a SmartCar. My, how things change.

The Most Joyful Religious Experience of the Day

Goose Family 0614050005
No, it didn't happen at Saint Middle School today.


It was when I was driving to church. I turned down the ramp onto major boulevard leading to the highway, where all cars usually blast through at a minimum of 50 mph. But as I came down to the boulevard, several cars ahead of me were stopped. What could it be?


In a scene reminiscent of "Make Way for Ducklings," a goose couple were walking across the boulenvard, from the Mall of Many Ethnicities over to BJs Warehouse, shepherding their brood of four little goslings between them. The goslings still had their baby yellow down.


Once they had made it safely all the way across, and only when they had made it, the cars started moving again.


Now it may be that the only people who are up and driving at 8 on a Sunday morning are folks who love God's creation, but it still warmed my heart that those drivers waited...I just wished I had had my camera with me. The closest picture I could find is the one above, whose goslings are definitely older than the babies I saw this morning. Enjoy!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Art and Ministry; Art of Ministry

It was an interesting evening. We had a little art show at Big Old Seminary and two of my icons (Sts. Matthew and Peter) were exhibited; tonight was the "official opening" and a reception. The theme of the show was Psalm 16, and the opening started with a wonderful meditation from one of our OT profs on the Psalm and its relationship to art. Art and Ministry can work together in all sorts of interesting ways.

I invited my friend WG to come to the reception. She's a secular Jew, and I suspect it's the first time she was ever in an Episcopal seminary, but I know she's game for anything.

She's worked for many years in Women's Entrepreneurship Development jobs in government and think tanks and such, and I knew she'd enjoy the art show, but I also wanted to pick her brains on a project I'm on the margins of. It's a women's training and microenterprise project in Africa for an area that has suffered much from war and poverty. A dynamic local (by this I mean African, born in this area of the country) female pastor is doing this as a major project. She's not been able to raise all the funds needed, and although she's very adept at pushing large rocks uphill, she doesn't know lots about small businesses.

So WG and I spent two hours running through her contacts, who might be helpful and how I might get in touch with them. She's emailing me the names and email addresses and phone numbers, and I guess I'll spend some time over the next few weeks seeing if there's something I can do to help this project come to fruition. May not lead anywhere at all, but just as art is sometimes surprising in opening doors to the soul, sometimes the art of ministry is opening surprising doors to the souls (and contact lists) of good people.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Spring Fever

It made it up to 70 today, sunshine, blue skies. My bulbs are blooming despite being whacked by the newspaper - the delivery guy seems to aim for the flower bed - and so we've got some daffodils, a bunch of grape hyacinths, and even a tulip. The flowering trees are sprinkling their pink and white confetti on the sidewalks. There are goldfinches at the bird feeder. The cats are shedding madly.

The spring fever has manifested itself in a fit of laziness. I've got a passel of reading to do and a bunch of other stuff to start ( see below) but I just can't seem to get moving. I'm trying to avoid that "oh, cut yourself a little slack" moment, because if I procrastinate, I know I'll end up getting slammed with work in early May, and that wouldn't be good.

Oh well, I had better get reading...

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Things Accomplished


Done:



  • ethics paper on human sexuality

  • sermon for homiletics

  • self-evaluation of said sermon for slightly scary prof (who said kind things in class)

  • systematics paper on the Trinity (sermon plus theological explication)

  • organizing our ST study group

  • babysat a toddler who is thoroughly embracing his terrible two-ness

  • actually got the reading done for Homiletics, and started the reading for systematics

  • case presentation for theological reflection for Field Ed Colloquy

  • reflection paper and self-evaluation on this semester's Field Ed experience

Still on the horizon:



  • final ethics paper on ending world hunger (nothing like the big issues)

  • final systematics project - a women's retreat on providence, plus the underlying theological explication

  • document-gathering, plus a little writing, in preparation for my interview with the Commission on Ministry for candidacy status (pre-ordination)

  • proposal for special project for my summer internship

  • writing second sermon (mostly edits of the last systematics project) on the Trinity for homiletics class and field ed

  • getting honors thesis proposal approved and getting an advisor and outside reader locked in.

Wags say that junior year of seminary is about scaring you to death, middler year is about working you to death, and senior year is about boring you to death.


Not sure about the senior thing (our seniors look focused on the future rather than bored) but junior year WAS sort of scary, and middler year is darned near killing all of us. Doing the summer internship, a 40-hour per week gig for eight weeks at a local church, seems like a cakewalk in comparison. And the idea of having August off is just beyond bliss.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

The B-man's First Tooth


Moments like this are what makes being GrandMary such a joy. Suddenly the Ethics paper for Tuesday, the sermon I'm preaching in Homiletics (with the slightly scary new Homiletics prof), and the covenant for my summer internship seem far away, and I'm just lost in those beautiful big brown eyes.

Friday, April 04, 2008

In Memoriam

Yesterday afternoon and most of today, we have been out of class, remembering the martyrdom of The Rev Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. forty years ago. It has been a thought-provoking couple of days.

This morning, we met in small groups and discussed a sermon of Dr King's, essentially a restatement of a letter from the Apostle Paul, addressed to America. It strikes me that although the rhetoric is gentler, Dr. King mentions the same social ills that the Rev. Jeremiah Wright (Barack Obama's retired pastor) has been preaching on, and getting awful media coverage for.

Why do these people who go after Rev. Wright fail to notice that the same problems that Dr. King identified...real problems, causing real pain, half a century ago...have not been fixed. In some cases, things have gotten worse.

Is it any wonder that Rev. Wright gets fired up about it? And why aren't we all?

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Sometimes Poverty Pays...

...at least this year with our taxes. We will get some $$$ back from the Feds and will owe the state a few. All in all, not bad. The downturn in our income, now I'm not even working part-time for the bank, has meant we get a break. Thank goodness. There's plenty of places for that money to go.

But sometimes poverty doesn't pay. I'm thinking of all the children we treated at the Children's Hospital where I did CPE last summer. We never turned a child away for lack of insurance, but I watched parents struggle to even get back and forth from home to visit their sick child because they didn't have a functioning car and didn't have bus fare. The social workers did what they could, but our ability to help was limited.

How can we live in a country where people casually spend $600 on Botox injections, a couple of hundred dollars on a bottle of wine, a grand on a purse that will only be in style for one season, $50-75,000 on a luxury car (which has miserable gas mileage), and some people live on spaghetti or beans and rice and have no means to get to their job interview?

Our priorities, as individuals and as a culture, need to change.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Well and Truly Home

PH and I were down at a conference of his for much of the past week. It was a celebratory event for him - he's qualified for Diplomate status (a big deal earned by very few folks in his profession) and he's been elected VP of his professional association, which also means he will automatically become president in two years. I went along to lend wifely support (he got dragged along to a bunch of my conferences back when I was a lobbyist in the banking industry, so this is turnabout-fair play). Because he is a pastoral counselor, and many of the conference presentations have applicability to the work I'll do in parish ministry, I went to learn new things. A good conference, with some interesting speakers. I'm glad I went.

It's a sign of how very ingrained seminary has become in my life that it felt odd not having assigned reading, not having written assignments, not being required to do anything except sit there. Of course, having gotten used to not doing anything like that over the past several days, going back to regular classes at Big Old Seminary tomorrow will be a shock to the system.

A good shock, though. I love what I'm doing,, and I'm glad I'm back to being healthy enough to dig back in.

The cats are still being disdainful of us as a way of punishing us for being gone so long. Since this so closely resembles their everyday behavior, we are not unduly concerned.

A shout-out to the RevGals who are off on the cruise. Have a drink with a little parasol in it for me. The sound you hear is a longing sigh.

Time Flies


Litigator and StoneMason. Note the black eye on StoneMason and the scratch on Litigator...common events in their lives. The phrase "No Fear" was invented for them, particularly StoneMason. Actually, I think this one dates back to when their father totaled the station wagon with them sharing a seat belt while sitting on the front seat. Enough said. Now Litigator has a goatee and StoneMason is over 6 feet tall.


And on the left, here's StrongOpinions. Somehow I don't think she'd wear a bow like that any more.
Hard to believe these pictures are 16 or 17 years old.
Then I look in the mirror, and it's suddenly much easier to believe!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Done

All the work for the incompletes is done. I turned in the paper for Theology of Mission this morning. Then I went shopping for some stationery, got some yarn to knit a stole for a friend, went to lunch at L's house, and came home to relax, watch some "Balllykissangel," do some time on the elliptical and look forward to going out of town with PH for the rest of the week.

Feeling good...

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Alleluia!



We had our Easter sunrise service on the land donated for Saint Middle School's church building. It'll be a while before we're ready to build, but it was wonderful having the first-ever service on the land...but oh, my goodness, it was cold! When I got out to the site to help set up our "church in a box" at 6:45 am, it was 32 deg F. The vicar and I were stylishly togged out in our cassocks, our matching black wool coats on top of the cassocks, and our white surplices on top of that...plus black gloveswhich we wore for the whole service except for communion. I had my nice warm winter boots on - a good idea, since it was a bit of a hike up the hill and through the brush to get to our stone cross. No hats, though...should have thought of that. A brief Eucharist - 24 minutes in all - followed by hot coffee, mimosas (I love being an Episcopalian) and doughnuts. By then, the sun had risen high enough that we 24 hardy souls could fool ourselves into believing we were warm.

After that, and a quick second cup of coffee from the coffee shop nearby, we went to Saint Middle School's usual location for a more traditional, and considerably longer, Easter Sunday service. All time high in attendance - 200 at the 10 am. Gee, if we could have those numbers every Sunday, we'd be ready to think of building! The service was followed by a potluck brunch and an Easter Egg hunt, and then the long drive home.

I celebrated the completion of my first Easter week assisting as seminarian in Field Ed by taking a hot bath, to get the last chill out of my bones. Time for a nap! Alleluia!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Friday Five: Good Friday Edition

TOH to Rev HRod at the RevGalBlogPals site for this meme:

Our prayer concerns are as varied as we are this day.

For whom would you like us to pray?

For PH's uncle who is having a difficult time recovering from two surgeries for cancer, and for his wife, who is having a hard time with all this. For my priest friend in Kenya, Samuel, whose mother died this week after an illness that would have been treatable if there was a good hospital in his part of the country. For those who are trying to discern God's will for them and are struggling to hear God's voice amidst the clutter of life.

Are there things you have done or will do today to help the young ones understand this important day in our lives?

When mine were little, we talked about what a hard day this was, but how necessary it was, and how great a gift it has been to all of us.

Music plays an important part in sharing the story of this day. Is there a hymn or piece of music that you have found particularly meaningful to your celebrations of Good Friday?

Bach. The Passion Chorale ("O Sacred Head Sore Wounded").

As you hear the passion narrative, is there a character that you particularly resonate with?

Pilate's wife. So often I speak, but don't take the next step and act.

Where have you seen the gracious God of love at work lately?

The kindness of my professors when I was ill, the privilege of participating in a review for full professorship for one of them, the healing power of music and Scripture, the importance of family and the gift of familial love.

Peace be with all of you on this day, and this weekend.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Maundy Thursday

Just back from the Maundy Thursday at Saint Middle School - it went very well, including the footwashing. I felt like my part in it went well, and I certainly left feeling uplifted by it.

I also got the Church History paper done and delivered to the seminary. Tomorrow I may start the Theology of Mission paper, or I may not. Somehow it doesn't seem like I should be doing schoolwork on Good Friday (I have a service to assist at in the evening - another 80 miles on my poor car). We'll see. I may just quietly read.

Time to go rest...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Obama

Can we please just cut to the chase and put this guy in the White House right NOW?

The speech about race in America and, parenthetically, about Reverend Wright, was genius. He was not defensive about his relationship with Reverend Wright. He said what he disagreed with. But what impressed me - yet again - was that he turned it into a teachable moment about race for all Americans. He turned something that could have been mere political defense into a statement of what we face every day, what African-Americans and other people fo color face every day, and what we might turn that into if we have the courage.

Is it all about his ability to give a speech? Maybe. But to me, what it's really all about is the imagination and intellectual curiosity to think beyond the quick political answers and get to a vision of what this nation might become if we are willing to take a risk.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a President who doesn't follow the old playbook every time?

Blah, but Maybe Moving Towards Ah

The praise music Tenebrae went well, and I was glad to have helped out in the soprano section. No, I didn't like the music, but it was sung well, and was heartfelt, and we had a good bunch of parishioners who seemed genuinely touched by it, so it was worth the 80 miles' drive roundtrip. The truly interesting service will be the sunrise Easter Sunday one - we will do it out on the land that has been donated for our church, when we can afford to build it. I'm wearing my rubber boots to deal with the mud, then changing into less hardy gear for the 10 a.m. service...although the rubber boots may go back on for the Easter Egg Hunt.

I'm having a hard time getting moving on the two papers I have to write. I don't know whether I can blame it on residual tiredness from the illness of a few weeks ago or not, but I would just like to sit down and churn out the darned thing, plus the other paper that needs finishing (actually, it needs starting, to be accurate). I've got until April 15th for both of them, but I'd like to get them done a) before the fourth quarter starts; and b) before we leave for Norfolk next Wednesday. Enough whining, though...


My advisor called early this morning to read me the draft of my Middler Evaluation letter. Big Old Seminary is required to send an annual letter to my bishop advising how I am doing. The one for the junior year is pro forma - basically "doing the right stuff and learning and all that" unless one is doing something illegal, immoral, or unethical. The Middler one is a big deal, since it precedes our interviews with our Commission on Ministry for candidacy for ordination. So when she called, I wondered what would be included. It was actually quite lovely, saying all sorts of nice things just short of "she walks on water," which would of course have been innaccurate. I doggy-paddle. Anyway, nice to get that affirmation from the advisor. The Middler eval committee may wordsmith it a bit, so it will be interesting to see what the final looks like. I guess I'd better do a good job on these wayward papers that are due - I'd hate to have my profs think that they said all those nice things in the letter and they weren't really true.

Enough procrastination. Time for lunch. (Wait - is that procrastinating?)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Getting Things Done

Two exams completed today: Church History (online) and Theology of Mission (oral final). I think I did adequately. That'll do for me these days. One more exam to go - Christian Ethics.

Two papers to write over the next seven days: Lutheran Pietism and its Radical View of Lay Religious Education, and Themes of Mission and Grace in the Hymnody of the Wesleys. Ten pages each. That's do-able, despite all the Field Ed work that lies ahead.

I sang the praise-music Tenebrae Service this evening at Saint Middle School. Forty miles out there in rush hour traffic. Gack. Yes, I know Tenebrae is normally done on Wednesday of Holy Week, but this was when the space was available to us. Tomorrow evening is a break, then services on Thursday, Friday and Sunday. I am so glad I don't have classes the rest of the week.

It feels good to know that I'm getting caught up, slowly. It also feels good to know that I'm managing this at a reasonable pace and not pushing myself to exhaustion. Yes, I can knock out a ten-page paper in a day if I really go full bore, but the quality of the paper isn't as good, and it would take me a couple of days to recover. This plan seems much wiser.

Things have slowed way down in the Fat Club world, but that is no surprise. The good news is that I've started some gentle exercise, so that may move things along a bit. It sure would be nice to drop another ten pounds. Heck, it sure would be nice to drop another five. It'll happen. It'll just take time.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Saturday Random Dots

  • After last week's great big drop in weight, I'm up almost a pound at Fat Club. Sigh. I know this is the way it goes sometimes, but...

  • 2nd Stepson turned 31 yesterday. It seems like only yesterday he was five years old (when I first met him). He was cute then, and he's still cute today. Happy Bday, B.

  • Stonemason requested a replacement engine for his mini-bike for his 22nd bday, in two weeks. They may be chronologically adult, but there's a still a little bit of little boy in all of them. Thank goodness, I think.

  • Today is a busy day. I went to Fat Club, came home to do a very light workout on the elliptical, and will leave soon to do icon-writing, then out to Saint Middle School for our Saturday Night Contemporary Service. It feels good to be getting back into the swing of things, although I still get tired. Yes, I'm being careful.

  • This week will be rock-'em sock-'em. As with all folks in the religion business, this is our busiest week of the year. Tenebrae on Tuesday, Maundy Thursday service, Good Friday Service, sunrise service on Easter morning, later service, Easter egg hunt, potluck brunch...thank goodness there's no school. Somehow I think I'll be relying heavily on Trader Joe's prepared foods rather than cooking this week. No time to do ANYTHING domestic (which is why I'm doing wash today and sorta giving up for the next eight days. I think I've got enough clean clothes...

  • The cats are very grateful that I have made it easier for them to get their daily supply of water by leaving a cup of water at my bedside. The cup is just big enough to get a paw into. They are also grateful that I left out my meds, which roll very amusingly across the nighttable when batted by a paw.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Friday Five: Time and Transitions

1. If you could travel to any historical time period, which would it be, and why?

Venice in the time of Vivaldi (early 1700s). It would be interesting to see one of my favorite cities and hear the first performances of one of my favorite composers, the Red Priest.

2. What futuristic/science fiction development would you most like to see?

Clean air, clean water, food for all, nonpolluting transportation.

3. Which do you enjoy more: remembering the past, or dreaming for the future?

Definitely the future. I love possibilities.

4. What do you find most memorable about this year's Lent?

Participating in the Holy Week activities as a seminarian - very different from behind the altar.

5. How will you spend your time during this upcoming Holy Week? What part do you look forward to most?

As usual, I'll be assisting at the Palm Sunday service. I'll be singing in a Tenebrae Service on Tuesday, assisting in footwashing at the Maundy Thursday service, assisting at the Good Friday evening service. I'll be "off-duty" on Saturday, then helping with the whole wild Easter Sunday celebration, from the Eucharist to the Easter Egg Hunt. I think I'm looking forward to helping with the footwashing the most, because it feels like such a "first" for me.

After all these years of cooking Easter Sunday dinners, I think I'll be doing something very simple since it's just PH and me this year. Maybe I'll have him grill some lamb. No, I won't be eating chocolate bunnies. Too many Fat Club points....

Thursday, March 13, 2008

It's Working

...the prayers, the support. I'm getting stronger, slowly, every day.

Today is the last day of classes before exams and spring break. Given the busy Holy Week schedule, that's a good thing. We can do what we need to do in both arenas, school and Field Ed, while not being overwhelmed. Even for me, who will be playing catch-up on writing and exams, this is manageable, and is a blessing.

I'm participating over the next couple of days on a review committee for one of our profs who is being considered for full professorship. Keep the members of this committee, made up of students, faculty, administration and an outside consultant, in your prayers, that we do the work that honors the gifts of this prof and that recognizes the shifting needs of this seminary.

Driving out to Saint Middle School tonight for a rehearsal for our Tuesday night Tenebrae Service. It will be my first time back among them since I got sick, and it feels so good to be doing that.

Are you ready for the week ahead?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Progress

After a slightly rocky start this morning, I actually had a very good day. I was at school from 9 to 3:30, three classes plus a meeting plus lunch, and didn't need to nap when I came home. I also cooked dinner (a great scallops and cauliflower and spinach recipe from Epicurious that would probably have set off all my tummy sensors last week). Tomorrow and Thursday are the last two days of class in the quarter, and are both light days. Friday I've got a couple of meetings, nothing the least bit strenuous. Then I can chill and get the rest of the work wrapped up at a sane pace over the next couple of weeks.

Life is good, and maybe even getting better.

And, bliss of blisses, the new LitterMaid automatic cat box arrived today, along with a whole beautiful box of citrus fruits from PH's dear family to help me get healthy and him to stay healthy!

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Grand Plans

..usually come to naught. Today was no exception. I was set to go to church this morning.

I got up on time, despite the evil Daylight Savings Time change, eat breakfast and showered, in anticipation of going out to Saint Middle School for Field Ed...and promptly lost all steam and had to have a lie-down on the couch. I called my supervisor who was gracious (or did I hear a teensy bit of a sigh in her voice?) and said I just couldn't get out there today. Given that it's over 35 miles in each direction, I think I probably made the right choice, although I still feel guilty about it.

So I sat on the couch in a half-dead state for a while (PH was off preaching on Dry Bones at his church), then got a couple of short papers knocked off for school. I'm going to see if I have the energy to do the three-pager for Ethics, but I just can't seem to get started on it. Maybe that's another grand plan that will have to wait another day. I spent some time on the Systematics assignment, a doctrinal sermon on the Trinity. It's now three-quarters done, and unfortunately, it's a dog that needs putting down. I will, however, wait until I've written a replacement that is better before I shoot the old one. The dog may just need a bath and some grooming.

This may be the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle in action. I thought this might be a cool sermon for the David HC Read competition, and now I'm wondering if I'm trying too hard for exactly that reason. Bah.

Only two classes tomorrow, thank goodness. Don't know if I have energy for more than that. PH is making Beer Can Chicken tonight, so all I have to do is a couple of veggies. That's about my speed. I cooked the full meal last night and I was whupped. Time for more energy, God, please....

Saturday, March 08, 2008

One More Bit of Nice News

Fat Club weigh-in this morning was a pleasant experience. 6.4 pounds, for a total near to ten pounds lost thus far. Hitting the ten pound mark would have been nice, but it was a bridge too far. Most of this week's loss was my body normalizing after a week of IVs and a transfusion and various and sundry meds, but I'll take it gladly. I expect next week's loss will be much more modest. There are many more pounds to go, but I've got until next January (when I'll have to start job search).

This point thing seems to work....

Friday Five (Belated); Hopeful Edition

Via the revgals --

What have you seen/ heard this week that was a :

1. Sign of hope?
Feeling a bit stronger and starting to attend classes again.

2. An unexpected word of light in a dark place?
The wise encouragement of a number of my professors that I take some incompletes rather than trying to push my way through the last of this quarter, when I am still trying to get healthy again. So many said "You're a good student, we know you are capable, we trust you'll get it done, and this is what incompletes are for." As someone who struggles with people's perceptions of me as "good enough," this was a great blessing.

3. A sign of spring?
Sprouting bulbs in the little flowerbed we planted by the entrance of our seminary townhouse, earthworms on the sidewalk after spring rain, warmer temps, recognition that after Spring break, it will only be six weeks until Middler year is done.

4. Challenging/ surprising?
Recognition that after spring break, it will only be six weeks until Middler year is done...it has passed so quickly, and there's a piece of me that's a little surprised that theyll foist me upon some parish somewhere so soon.

5. Share a hope for the coming week/month/year....
Week -- continued improvement in strength and ability to concentrate
Month -- completion of outstanding work, and approval of my honors thesis proposal
Year -- a wonderful and rich senior year with some opportunities to do some exciting work in areas that interest me....and then ordination!

Bonus play... a piece of music/ poem guaranteed to cheer you? Brahms Intermezzos, anything by Nelly McKay or Carrie Newcomer, poetry of Cynthia Rylant ("God Went to Beauty School") and Mary Karr, whose new book of poetry, "Sinners Welcome" is pure joy. Herein, a copy of one poem from that collection, as it was reprinted on Karr's website:

DISGRACELAND

Before my first communion at 40, I clung
to doubt as Satan spider-like stalked
the orb of dark surrounding Eden
for a wormhole into paradise.

God had first formed me in the womb
small as a bite of burger.
Once my lungs were done
He sailed a soul like a lit arrow

to inflame me. Maybe that piercing
made me howl at birth,
or the masked creatures
whose scalpel cut a lightning bolt to free me—

I was hoisted by the heels and swatted, fed
and hauled through rooms. Time-lapse photos show
my fingers grew past crayon outlines,
my feet came to fill spike heels.

Eventually, I lurched out to kiss the wrong mouths,
get stewed, and sulk around. Christ always stood
to one side with a glass of water.
I swatted the sap away.

When my thirst got great enough
to ask, a stream welled up inside;
some jade wave buoyed me forward;
and I found myself upright

in the instant, with a garden
inside my own ribs aflourish. There, the arbor leafs.
The vines push out plump grapes.
You are loved, someone said. Take that

and eat it.
--Mary Karr

Friday, March 07, 2008

Hospital + one week

I need to remind myself of the progress of one week since I came home from the hospital, otherwise I will continue to be an impatient whiner.

Today I went to Small Group Worship at my advisor's house, a 90-minute lecture in Systematic Theology, lunch in the refectory (something of a mistake, given the faux Chinese food on the menu, but my innards will settle soon), and choir rehearsal, where I was the substitute choir director while our dear Dr Bill is out of town.

I managed to get through it all pretty well, although when I came home at 2 pm (having left the house at 8 a.m.) I was tired and had to nap on the couch for 90 minutes.

In contrast, I went to school on Monday for two one hour classes and lunch time, and had to spend all of Tuesday on the couch.

This is progress of a sort. I will take it very easy tomorrow, except for the Fat Club weigh-in, where I expect good news, since I've been away from hospital cuisine for a week. On Sunday I may or may not go to Field Ed, depending on how I feel, but this time last week I couldn't have imagined driving 37 miles in each direction, assisting at the service and teaching the teens. I do have a video for them, BTW, so my level of energy can be somewhat less than usual and we can still get something done.

At the Refectory today, I ran into my Commission on Ministry (the Diocesan clergy-lay body that advises the Bishop on those of us who want to become priests) - they were in to do final ordination interviews with our seniors, who expect to be ordained to the transitional diaconate in late May. Several Commission members had heard about my illness and come up to check in and give hugs, even the sometimes intimidating administrator of the group. Another wonderful instance of support from a source that I didn't quite expect - shows how the Spirit continues to surprise me.

I'll be meeting with them in May for our candidate interviews, when they will determine if we are to be candidates for ordination. They call it The Process for a reason. Do we have too many lawyers developing this methodology?

One element of this year in my seminary career is my Middler Evaluation. In our Junior year, these letters which go to our Bishops are pro forma. As long as you're not completely tanking school or doing something that frightens the horses, you're fine. The Middler eval is a different animal. The student writes a self-evaluation first, the advisor writes his/her starting evaluation, then solicits the input of all the professors and incorporates it into the letter. The advisor meets with the student to share the draft prior to it being sent off, at which point the student may respond (which may or may not result in modifications to the letter) and it gets sent off to the Bishop. This letter can generate much conversation in the Commission on Ministry candidate interview. The letters that my friends have received have ranged from "sweet, but dumb as a post" to "gifted, well-prepared for ministry, here are some ideas for continued growth." So when my advisor told me this morning at the end of Small Group Worship, "Mibi, you're next for Middler Evaluation," there was surprisingly little consternation in my heart.

I know I've worked hard and have done reasonably well across a broad range of disciplines, some better than others. I know I've tried to keep myself open to learning new things in contextual learning environments, and that when taught, I didn't need to be instructed twice. I know, most of all, that I so value the gift of this call and am increasingly certain of it day by day, that I am confident that the Spirit will guide me through this process, whatever happens. The evaluation letter may be good or it may be difficult, but the Spirit will guide me through.

This coming week, the last one of this quarter, holds no terrors for me, since I've asked for extensions from everyone. Wisdom finally trumped ego ("I can power this through.")

Than you for all your prayers and reminders that this is transitory and I'm in it for the long haul, not just the next couple of weeks. I'm a slow learner, but I think I'm catching on.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

We're In Mourning...


...the cats and PH and I right now.


The mighty LitterMaid automatic cat box has died.
They tend to last us two years and then they fade into the sunset. Our cats use them as amusement as well as functional necessities.
This is probably not the time to drop $100 for something like this.
But the moment PH came up from the basement and announced the demise, I immediately ordered another one.
Priorities, don't you know.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Slogging towards Easter

I went to noon Eucharist today, led the choir, sang a solo verse and descant...and now I'm resting on the couch at home. It seems like I can only do things in 90 minute chunks, and then I've got to seriously rest. So be it.

Easter is coming up so fast, and there is much to do between now and then, and I may not get much of it done. I'm trying to be at peace with that, but have very mixed feelings.

Someone sent me an e-mail talking about God's power of healing, which of course I believe in and have witnessed, and in the email they talked about a young woman cured of ovarian cancer, who had participated at some prayer services, then passed the tumors like grapes from her body. It reminds me too much, I think, of some of the televangelists who used to pretend to cure cancer by seemingly pulling what turned out to be chicken guts from the body of sick person. In that case, it was all about power and money, and not much about the Lord.

I do believe in God's healing power. I've seen it in my own life, for which I am exceedingly grateful. I've seen it in my children, a couple of whom seemed to be on a downward spiral but have come to a place of peace and healing. I've seen it in the baby who was born with many congenital defects and who was not expected to live, but who is now a year old and as perky as can be.But I wonder about the motives of those who promoted themselves in the story. And if this woman was healed, why not my dear friend M, a devout and faithful Christian who died this past summer, too young, of pancreatic cancer? And why not little Meg, an angel who died of multiple systems failure before she could get a liver transplant at 9 months of age? We prayed long and hard for both of them...and they died. And I'm at peace with that, because I know they are at the heavenly banquet table. But I have a hard time with an approach that says that one kind of praying brings miracles, and if the miracle doesn't occur, you weren't part of the right prayer team.

So am I condemned to damnation? Or am I just on too many different medications?

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Long Slog

So I went to two classes yesterday, which was probably one too many. I came home, promptly spiked a fever and got a msierable headache. I spent the morning back at the doctor's getting more tests and another scrip for an antibiotic, Levaquin.

I think this is going to take longer to get over than I had thought. Drat. Thank God for Netflix instant view and the cats.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

C.P.E. (Cat Pastoral Energies)

Reasons why cats are good pastoral caregivers:

1) they are warm as they sit on your lap
2) they have no expectations of interaction
3) they don't sit and talk at you for thirty minutes, say "you must be tired" and then continue to talk for another twenty minutes
4) they've got the "non-anxious presence" thing down
5) they don't have Netflix movie preferences that conflict with your own
6) they know that the Great One is in control, not you, not them.

The downside, unfortunately, is that they smell like cat food.