Sermon for this weekend (this post is a bit long).

Sermon for Friday, 19 January 2007 and Sunday, 21 January 2007

“Who Am I?”

1 Cor 12: 12-14, 27-30
Luke 4: 14-21

Who am I?

It’s a question we all ask ourselves.

Teenagers, in particular, seem to focus on this question. Where should I go to university? What should I study? What am I meant to do with my life?

Who am I?

My daughter has changed majors in college twice already, and is still considering adding minor courses of study to the mix. My older son has changed from film production to screenwriting, and I suspect that once he graduates from college this year, his life will twist and turn and he will redefine himself once again. My niece Hannah has pondered five different majors in her first semester.

Some of us revisit the question later in life. Perhaps seeking the answer to that question is what brought you to Qatar. Perhaps you hadn’t even thought of the question until you found yourself here. It’s true that a mid-life question brought me to this place. I left a career in business and government after more than 25 years to study at seminary in preparation for ordination to the priesthood.

It’s easiest to think of this question within the context of work. All of the examples I’ve just mentioned have to do with career choices of one sort or another. What I’d like us to think about today, though, is how we face this question as Christians, as members of the Body of Christ, as members of this church.

It’s a question that’s repeated over and over again in both the Old Testament and the New.

So it’s not just a question of the 21st Century, this pondering of our basic identity. It intrigues us, challenges us, sometimes haunts us.

Contrast the troublesome nature of the question, then, with Jesus in our gospel reading this morning. In Luke’s gospel, this story is in the early days of Jesus’ ministry. He’s just come back in from forty days in the desert and a duel of wills with Satan. He’s begun to teach in the synagogues in the Galilee, and word of the power of his teaching is beginning to spread. So he comes home to Nazareth, and as is the custom, he’s invited to read the Scripture and to preach on it.

What was it like to be in the synagogue that day?

Here he comes into the synagogue, a local boy, the son of Joseph the carpenter. We watched him growing up. We’ve heard that he’s developed quite the reputation.

He stands, reads the Scripture. It’s a powerful text from the prophet Isaiah

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor.He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.”

Familiar words to us; we’ve heard them before. What will he say when he preaches on them?

He sits down, as we expect, for the time of teaching. He says “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.”

That’s all. He’s just said “It’s me. I’m the one Isaiah is talking about.”

We’re shocked. We’re excited, because we’ve been waiting for a Messiah, an anointed one, for a long time and through a lot of trouble. We’re a bit proud that it’s one of our own. We’re doubtful that it could be one of our own. And yet he seems so utterly sure, so completely convinced and convincing.

He isn’t asking that hard question of Who am I? He’s absolutely unambiguously telling us that He is the fulfillment of the prophecy. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be so clear on who we are?

Very few of us are ever that clear about our own identity.

That’s true of Roshan, who was baptized this morning. We look into his beautiful eyes and wonder what he will be like, the person he will become as he grows in the loving embrace of his mother and father and as a part of this, his church family. All we know is that he will be unique, and in his uniqueness are the gifts that he will bring to life in the world and as a Christian.

Who am I?

That’s certainly the problem for some of the members of the church at Corinth, a church of primarily Gentile membership that Saint Paul founded. They are worried about all sorts of things and have sent Paul a letter asking for guidance. As Father Ian told us last week, some people have been misbehaving, and some have been trying to establish a pecking order of who’s more spiritual than the other.

That never happens in churches today does it? Of course it does. So how does Paul address the issue? Just as Jesus taught by painting a picture through parables, Paul paints a picture for the Corinthians, using a metaphor, that of the human body. He says, “Listen, you’ve all been given gifts, talents, from God. They’re all different. They’re all important. This is not a competition about which gift is the best. They’re all the best, because they all come from God, and you’d best set about using them to do God’s work.”

He talks about the human body, how it is made up of different parts, how each part, even the lowliest, has an important function that the other parts rely upon. One can’t exist without the other. Then he takes that metaphor one step further, and speaks of each of us as a part of the body…the Body of Christ. For the human body to function at its best, all parts have to function well. For the Body of Christ to function at its best, all of its members, with all of their varied gifts, have to be honored as well as put to good use. One part of the human body is no more important than another. One person’s gifts are no important than another as we live in Christian community. All these gifts are important, to our life and Christ and to each other. None can be dismissed.

So it is not only in Corinth, but here at the Church of the Epiphany in Doha. I have been here this month working with Father Ian and visiting with you all to help understand how a community of members from so many different nations, and so many traditions, become a family of faith and nurture each other and support each other. I’d be foolish if I didn’t recognize that a large part of it is Father Ian, who has served as pastor, friend, teacher and advocate for so many of us. But it is also you. It is you who do the music and you who serve as acolytes. It is you who bring blankets out to the work camps and you who bring food for after Friday morning services. It is you who lay out the fair linens and you who reach out a hand to someone who is sick in hospital. It is you who smiles at the person who is occasionally unlovable and you who reads the Lessons. It is you who sweeps up and you who puts things away. It is you who preaches and it is you who works in the crèche. All your gifts, given to you by God, are put to good use for the work of God’s people in this place.

So this is the lesson I have learned here, so far away from home, the answer to that question; “Who am I?” I am, we all are, members of the Body of Christ. We are all the recipients of gifts, of talents, from God, who has given these gifts out of love for us. We all have something to offer another, and our Lord wants us to freely offer that which we have been given.

This community, even when Father Ian moves on to the next phase of his life, will still be a community of people with a myriad of gifts. And you are called, as you have always been called, to use those gifts to support and love and nurture each other as members of the Body of Christ.

Who are you? You are unique, with gifts given to you by God. You are a part of a community of faith here in Doha, and you are part of a much larger community of faith wherever you go in the world. You have been transformed by these gifts, and by the way you put them to good use. Your gifts will strengthen the community of faith and the world, if you dare to use them. Be strong. Be brave. Know that the Lord is always with you. And never forget, you are beloved members of The Body of Christ.

Cultural Dissonance Pt III

Not my own picture, but the person who gave it to me swears it isn't just something that was PhotoShopped!
It would have to be a pretty young camel, though...and those are not Qatar license plates...hmmm...

Cultural Dissonance Pt. II

At the International Islamic Bank, there is a men's branch and a separate ladies' branch right alongside it.

The dean of the Shari'a department at Qatar University may be a woman, the wife of the Emir may be the driving force behind the Education City initiative, the Director of the gazillion-rial new Museum of Islamic Art may be a woman, but there is still a separate ladies' branch at the bank.

Some women say that having a separate ladies' branch, or floor at the mall, or other such facility, gives them a way to conduct their business without being bothered by men, and they can remove their face scarf without the possibility of molestation. It still feels (in my Western mind) a tad odd to me.

I guess I haven't been here long enough...

Cultural Dissonance

...an Iraqi assistant to the producer at Al Jazeera, wearing an Icehouse Brewery t-shirt in this Muslim country where alcohol is forbidden.

Museum of Islamic Art

This museum is in progress. It is expected to be completed by the end of this year. A $15 Billion project, it was designed by I.M. Pei and is enormous. We had the privilege of visiting it even though it's under construction. These pictures will give you an idea of the size and magnificence of the space.

The woman standing in the center of the picture of the exterior is the Executive Director of the Museum, Dr. Saidegh. She is from Tunisia.

This is the main staircase from the ground level up to the first gallery level (there are five levels). Across from the staircase, facing the bay, is a wall of glass extending up the five levels. There is a fountain which echoes the traditional ablutions fountain in a mosque in the shape of the star of Islam, with eight points.

Here we look up 60 meters to the top of the dome. Like Brunelleschi's Dome in the Duomo in Florence, it essentially supports the whole structure. It is the equivalent of the keystone in an arch. Before the dome and window were inserted, there was a steel infrastructure to prevent the building from collapsing in on itself.

Looking down from the fifth level. Definitely a work in progress. When work was most intense, there were 1500 laborers onsite.

A courtyard between the main museum and the education wing. There will be pools of water and fountains here.

This open gallery leads to the education wing. It reminds me of Cordoba.

At Qatar University's College of Shari'a and at the Georgetown Univ School of Foreign Service at Education City

We visited the Shari'a school, which is the theological college in Doha, and met with the dean and a number of professors, as well as a student representative. Interestingly, the dean is a woman, the first female to hold such a post in the Arab world. QU hosts the annual interfaith dialgue conference, which will have its fifth meeting in April. For the past two years, Jews have also been a part of the dialogue, a remarkable thing and a risky one in this part of the world. We are looking at ways to partner with them in the States and perhaps the UK.


The dean, Dr Aisha, is sitting in the middle with the white skirt. The woman sitting to her left is the head of what would be the equivalent of the systematic theology department at QU. What I wouldn't give to bring these two women to the US to speak to our seminary!


Then we met with one of the profs, an American Jesuit priest, and a number of sophomore students (3 women, two men) at Georgetown's School of Foriegn Service. The women were Qatari Muslims. One of the men was a Christian from Lebanon, the other was a Muslim from Bosnia. The women were very progressive in their outlook; they see themselves as the future political movers and shakers of the country. Although they wear headscarves and abaya, their abayas were open from the waist down and we could see their (designer) jeans and their (Manolo Blahnik and Jimmy Choo) shoes. The guys were a tad more conservative, but as Fr. Ryan from Georgetown said, the students really self-select to apply to this school; you are going to see the kids who were brought up with a British style education (the girls were in an IB program at Qatar Academy) and who are the most progressive in their viewpoints applying to a school like this. They seemed very bright and mature beyond their years. I hope the government will take advantage of their training and intelligence.

Just another one of the amazing adventures of the last few days.

At Al Jazeera

One of the group of visiting clergy, Bill Sachs of the Center for Reconciliation and Mission, was interviewed on Al Jazeera (the Arabic station, not the English one) on the group's trip and their work on building Christian-Muslim dialogue. Some of the questions were somewhat political in nature, but it wasn't bad. And getting the message out to Al Jazeera's 42 million Arabic-speaking viewers that Christians don't think of Muslims as "the enemy" was a good thing.

Meeting with Imams at the American Ambassador's Residence

Chase Untermeyer, the American Ambassador, and his wife Diana couldn't have been more gracious, and the embassy staff was wonderful making arrangements for many of our activities. We went to the ambassador's residence and had a fascinating and frank discussion about Christian/Muslim dialogue with some imams. The British Ambassador, Simon Collis, was also in attendance. A common theme was the need for face-to-face interaction; when we meet and talk as human beings together, the conversation is very different. We need to learn more about each other's religion and culture.

Amazing Moment

As I was standing outside the door after our Sunday evening service (packed tonight with two hundred people), one of the Sri Lankan families came up with their cutie-pie three year old and adorable 18 month old. All the SoutheastAsian kids shake your hand. So I hunkered down, extended my hand to the little one, and instead of shaking, she kissed it.

Words fail me.

Assorted Pictures of Modes of Transportation

Too much is happening with our visiting American and Cantabrigian deans to write right now, but I thought I'd share some fun pictures of me on a Segway riding around Education City, and StrongOpinions and me on our camels. More to come, including the picture of me with the visitors at the American Ambassador's residence with the British Ambassador and a bevy? myriad? gaggle? of imams. Back at you later.

Sunday on Friday

As I mentioned before, the main church service at Epiphany is Friday morning, so today was our big family Eucharist. Most folks have now returned from their holidays either in their home countries or in another exotic place (this is the norm for expats). The children have returned to school. The church was packed, including new baby Roshan, who is 5 days old, and just adorable. None of the acolytes showed up (teenagers are the same everywhere in the world, it seems), so I served as acolyte. Every priest does something a little different, so I was a bit graceless in serving Father Ian, but I was glad to help. I even got to distribute the bread at communion, a first for me. I also did Prayers of the People. A number of members have agreed to be interviewed for my project, which is a blessing.

What a variety of people we have in this church! A Danish engineer, a Nigerian neurosurgeon, a Sri Lankan chauffeur, an American professor, an Indonesian nurse, a Canadian stay-at-home mom, a Ghanaian accountant, an Indian maxillofacial surgeon... such interesting, welcoming people.

Today will be a quiet day. The boys' school behind the house, normally alive with the sound of soccer-playing little guys, is silent. My brother-in-law should be coming back from India tonight. We may go exercise in the afternoon. The next three days will be rock-'em sock'em with the American and British visitors. I need to write up my first interviews before I forget what is in my mind in between the cracks of the notes I've written. I can't believe I'm almost at the halfway point of the trip!

Minarets and other things

This gives you a taste of the variety of minarets on mosques around the city. The first one is at the Islamic Cultural Center, which has a mosque at the center. It's in the ziggurat style, and is enormous. The one in the center is on the mosque called the Green Mosque, where the Emir goes. Sorry for the odd angle of the shots, but they were taken from the car.

As you drive around, you see minarets everywhere, of every color, shape and size. When the call to prayer is broadcast through all the loudspeakers (you can see the speakers on the last minaret quite well), I am told that what we hear is not a recording, but a real muezzin chanting.

That's a lot of muezzins.

I drove all by myself across town to Father Ian's house (three roundabouts, one fly-over, the TV roundabout by Al Jazeera, five traffic lights). I didn't get lost, I didn't hit anything, I didn't get hit, I even got there early. We spent several hours going through my questions, then went out on errands to the Industrial Zone. We even stopped at the fish market and the fruit and vegetable market. On the way home, I stopped at a few shops on Al Mirqab Street. I considered being really adventurous and going down Grand Hamad to the old souq, but I didn't think I'd get there before the mid-day hiatus, so I'll save that for next week. PH forgot our jars of gift honey, and needs another for his administrative assistant, so I need to go there for that, plus I want to look for a couple more odds and ends of gifts for people. The good news is that most shopkeepers speak better English than I do Arabic, so we can negotiate. I've figured out the Arabic numbering system (which is a good deal easier than the Hebrew numbering system) by looking at the license plates, which carry both Arabic and English numbers.

The weekend will be very busy indeed, with a group of nine visitors from the US and England to talk about Christian-Muslim relations under the auspices of a new organization called the Center for Reconciliation and Mission. Visits to Qatar University's Department of Shari'a Law, Al Jazeera, meeting the deputy at the Ministry of Islamic Affairs, meetings with the US and British Ambassadors, seeing the new Islamic Museum which isn't open to the general public yet, receptions and such. I will get to meet people and do things that I wouldn't otherwise get to do while here. A wonderful opportunity. Next week I'll go out to the guest-worker work camps in Al Wakra to deliver food and blankets. I'll also be interviewing parishioners and will continue to shadow Father Ian (still wondering if I'll get to the morgue).

Meanwhile, I've written a first draft of my sermon for next week, and now I've got to compose the Prayers of the People for tomorrow morning's service - we don't use a standard form but make new ones each week. I'm missing PH and StrongOpinions, but they had a good trip home, with a brief stopover and sightseeing for a couple of hours in Munich.

I'll check in later.

Various and Sundry Pictures in the Old Souq

This little boy on a donkey was too cute for words. After I snapped the shot, he went trotting down the street. It's a little difficult to see in this dark view through the souq, but the ceiling is a bunch of wood beams with thatched reeds going across. If you wondered how they lowered the man through the roof so that Jesus could heal him in Mark 2:1-12, you can see how it was done. The thatch was pulled away and the roof beams slid out to make an opening. You'll also notice the men with wheelbarrows in this shot. There are no shopping carts in the souq. If you have something large to bring to the car, or many bundles, you hire one of these men, who are usually from Afghanistan, to ferry the goods in the wheelbarrow.

The colorful dresses on the right in this picture is what the women often wear beneath their abayas. You can see a couple of the black-clad women to the left of my brother-in-law and PH in this picture.

How I Know I'm Not Home, Pt. II

Camel crossing signs on the road out to the beach.

Speaking of camels, I actually got to ride one yesterday while we were out on the Arabian Penninsula yesterday. They're not called ships of the desert for nothing - you sway from side to side as they walk. They get up rear end first, so you have to hold tight to the saddle pommel when they get up. They get down again front first, so once again you hold on, this time to the back of the saddle, so you don't get pitched forward over the head. My camel was named Sheikha, and she was the mellower of the two camels we had to choose from. Sarah, the other camel, whined and complained even when no one was riding her...she must have been having a bad day.

StrongOpinions was happy because she found some cats to play with. Qatari cats are smaller than US cats, but much more vocal. She was ecstatic petting the cats, who were busy looking for some easy food. She, PH and my brother-in-law rode quad ATVs over the dunes. My sister-in-law and I rested in the majlis (a tented area with cushions in a sofa-like conformation) and read and napped, before we came back into town.















This morning we went to the gold souq. Much beautiful and exotic 22-carat jewelry, but much too fancy and bright for me. Then we went to an odd little second-hand store where I found a beautiful red embroidered pashmina scarf. Less expensive than the gold and more useful to me.

PH and StrongOpinions leave tonight, and I'll get down to more work. I'm hoping to also fit in a mosque tour, if it can be arranged. The minarets of the mosques are everywhere, in all sizes and designs. In our little nieghborhood, if I turn 360 degrees, I see four within easy walking distance. Islam sees itself as a part of every aspect of life, not a religious practice held apart for a special day. Thus, having so many mosques makes it easier for Muslims to go to prayer at the mosque, where it's easier to do the ritual washing-up, at the five times of day that prayer is required. The university has special prayer rooms for men and women as well.

Enough for now...more later!

How I Know I'm Not Home

...gas is 80 cents a gallon, and the veterinarian advertises his services not only for cats and dogs, but also for horses and camels. Falconry is also very popular here.

It's 7 a.m. on Monday morning and I'm the first one awake in the house. So I'm downstairs in the office visiting with you.

Last night was the Sunday night service at church (http://www.stchcathedral.com.bh/chaplain/qatar.htm). Here's a picture of me with Father Ian . A much quieter and more traditional service than the Friday morning one. The American ambassador was there, with several very large Qatari bodyguards waiting outside. It turns out he and I have several mutual friends from the days when I was a political appointee in a prior administration. As a result of a number of conversations with folks at that service and the Friday one, I'm setting up some meetings with key people in the church to discuss their perceptions of Epiphany and what works there. I suspect that for many the answers to all questions will be "we come because Father Ian has made us so welcome." The congregation includes Anglicans, Episcopalians, Plymouth Brethren, Presbyterians, Covenanters, Baptists, you name it. So I did the reading from Ephesians (nothing like endless participial phrases to keep one on one's toes) and served the chalice at the Eucharist. A baby was born to one family in the congregation, and he will be baptized the day that I'm preaching, so I will be figuring out how to work that into the sermon as well.

This morning we'll probably go to the souq to look at ouds (Syrian lutes) and see if it's possible for StrongOpinions to buy one for the boyfriend, and to pick up some incense for a high-church friend. This afternoon we may go out to the desert. I doubt that I'll ride a camel, but you never know...

Driving in Doha

...is not for the faint of heart. Thirty years ago, people got around primarily via camels (and there is still a camel-racing facility outside of town). Now, with the oil and gas wealth of the past few decades, most folks drive very large SUVs and luxury vehicles. There are few streelights; most major intersections are roundabouts (what some of us know as traffic circles). Entering one is an opportunity for prayer, since aggressive driving is the norm. There are signs at most intersections: "Your family is waiting for you at home. Please drive safely." Although Muslim women are permitted to drive here; they are usually driven around by male relatives or drivers, who epitomize the machismo driving style of other large cities such as Boston or Rome. Waiting for another driver to enter an intersection is unheard of. The problem is compounded by the large presence of foreign guest workers (usually from the Phillipines or Sri Lanka), who may be drivers for a construction company and whose prior driving experience is minimal and driver education nonexistent. There are 10 to 15 accidents per day.

So it was that I ventured onto the B Ring road this morning to meet with Father Ian and plan my work for the next three weeks. PH served as navigator, a particularly challenging task because there are very few road signs ("okay, we go down three roundabouts to the TV roundabout, by Al Jazeera's headquarters, and we go 3/4s of the way around, then turn right, and go right after the Hardee's - yes, there is a Hardee's here - to turn onto Al Mirqaba, then go down to the Family Market, the one with the big neon sign with three check marks and turn right. That's Father Ian's street. His house is on the left, with the flowering wines over the wall. No there's no street number"). Because it was the weekend, and Eid al Ramallah festival, the traffic wasn't too bad. We had a lovely chat with Ian, and I will be preaching on the 19th, and I'll be shadowing him all over the place, including the blanket and food ministry to the guest worker camps, and probably also a trip to the morgue if there are any deaths. He pointed out that the Christians who are here are here to work, so you don't get deaths due to old age and natural causes. Father Ian, as the only Protestant minister recognized by the Qatari government, is often called when such a tragedy occurs to help if there are local relatives, and often when there are not. Should be an interesting education.

I got to participate in a wedding of two Australian nationals today (just the two of them and their two Indian witnesses) in the little chapel that Father Ian has in his little villa. Quite touching. He's the only licensed Protestant clergyperson for weddings, too, so he does a lot fo them.

In the afternoon my sister-in-law, StrongOpinions and I went for stroll along the Corniche, had some chai, and went to the big mall with the hockey rink on the ground level to look for a food processor, then home for a quiet dinner en famille.
















Tomorrow night I'll participate in the Sunday evening informal service. Beyond that, I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring. PH is getting a haircut with his brother, yet another adventure.

Ah, well, enough for today. More to come.

Greetings from Qatar

PH, StrongOpinions and I arrived here late last night. We flew separately (the vagaries of arranging flights at different times, with some coverage by frequent flyer miles, some by a grant from the Seminary, some by Mibi's American Express card. The flights were uneventful, although it is a bit disconcerting knowing one is getting here by flying directly over Baghdad. L and I caught a taxi home to their place, while C waited for PH and StrongOpinions, whose flight from Frankfurt was an hour later than ours.

Since last year, Qatar has hosted the Asian Games, and the amount of new construction for that event, as well as ongoing new construction, is staggering. Towers and construction cranes everywhere you look. We were shocked by surprisingly cold weather - the coldest in memory - and since houses aren't fitted with heating systems, it made for a rather cold night last night. I only brought one fleece top with me, and I'm wishing I'd brought more sweaters.

One sign of the cold weather is the garb of the men, who, instead of wearing their traditional crisp white thobes, are wearing winter-weight grey or brown ones. The women, as always, are head-to-toe in black hijab. Some of the women's robes (called abeyas) are dressed up with sequins and stones in patterns. I saw several butterfly patterns and some gorgeous embroidered flowers. Another variation is in the face scarves (niqab). Some women wear none, some wear a soft black cloth that hooks across and covers the nose and lower half of the face, some wear scarves that merely have slits to see out of, some have an odd metal piece that attaches to the scarf and covers the nose and mouth.

Going to the supermarket is another cultural shift: in addition to chocolate and almond croissants, you can buy savory ones dusted with zaatar, the spice mix of sumac and sesame and oregano and other good things. American foods are in the foreign foods section. In the produce department, okra is labeled as "lady fingers." There are no pork products.

We dined at a favorite Middle Eastern restaurant, Turkey Central. No, there were no turkey dishes; the original owners were from Turkey. Freshly baked lavash and pita bread. Hummus, tabbouleh, baba ganoush, grilled meats, freshly squeezed fruit juices. We had a friendly argument with our waiter over whether to order the 30 rial or 40 rial mezze platter. He won. He was right. The mid-size platter was more than enough.

Then, on to the souqs. These traditional storefront markets were restored in recent years. Walking through them is like going back 2000 years, except for the stores that have small appliances in them. The spice markets are the most wonderful, with open bins of fragrant cinnamon and cardamon and pepper and cumin. I could just sit and take in the aroma for hours.
We got some honey at a store that had different honeys from Ethiopia, Yemen, Oman and Qatar. Pricey but good. We'll see if we can get them through in our checked luggage.

StrongOpinions is feeling jet-lagged and homesick. I'm hoping she'll perk up a bit tomorrow. We're all a bit tired. Eight hours time difference is a challenge.

Because the Muslim weekend is Friday and Saturday, we had church this morning at the english Speaking School. Around 100 attendees from a broad variety of nationalities. A lovely liturgy crafted from elements of the CofE "Our Common Worship" but tweaked to have more biblical references and some features of liturgical traditions of the various nationalities of the people who attend. I'll be meeting with a number of the members as part of my research. I've got meetings tomorrow with Father Ian about my work here - today in church he said something about preaching - oh my!

More to come, hopefully with some pictures. Salaam aleikum!

Waiting

We are getting ready for our trip to the Persian Gulf on Wednesday. Trying to pack for three weeks (including books and knitting) is a challenge.

I did some prep work, including getting the mail held while PH and StrongOpinions are there with me, getting the newspaper stopped, getting Hebrew homework done, getting bills paid. I don't think I've been away from home for this long in many a year (I'm thinking not since 1986 when I did some summer coursework out at Stanford).

StrongOpinions, who's not crazy about planes, is starting to get antsy about the flights. She and PH are on a different itinerary than me, and will have an 8-hour layover in Frankfurt - they'll go into the city and wander around to amuse themselves. Hopefully the melatonin will keep her calmed down. She'll have PH with her, who absolutely adores travel and will keep her calm. I'll be flying through Heathrow and meeting my brother-in-law and sister-in-law in the (ahem) First Class Lounge. 'Twill be nice seeing how the other half lives. I wish I had time on either end to visit my London friends, but that's not happening this trip.

I'm trying to not stress out about getting the independent study work done while there. The priest with whom I'll be working is a dear, but pinning him down is not easy. Yes, I know. all will be well. I'd just like it to be 20 pages of substance, not fluff. Enough whining for now.

A delightful diversion on Sunday: we went to Super-High Anglo-Catholic Church downtown for their 11:15 solemn mass. Beautiful! Great music well done, lots of smells and bells, and a great sermon by (surprise!) my NT professor. I'm not into the High Church thing, but you have to admire the skill with which it was done, and getting to hear the prof preach was a real joy.

I may try to check in once more before I go, and I expect to blog from Qatar...

Post-Christmas Recovery

I spent the day running errands, replenishing the refrigerator (a natural result of having two 20-something young men over for a few days), doing laundry, straightening up. I should be doing my Hebrew homework, since I doubt I'll have time to do it in the Middle East, and I should be doing more preliminary reading for the trip, but it seems like the thing I need to do most is to chill out. It was great having Litigator and StoneMason here (StrongOpinions is still here, since she'll be going with us on the trip.)

My sister-in-law called to give me some logistics. Only one carry-on bag, not to exceed 56 cm x 45 cm x 35 cm. No separate purse (it will need to fit into the carry-on, along with my meds and laptop and book and knitting and make-up). Guess I'm going to have to figure out how to travel a bit lighter than my norm. Of course, it's never clothes, it's always books and such.

I'm sleeping a lot, another natural result of holidays and family and such. I should be working out a lot, given my eating habits over the past week, but I won't worry about it. Yet.

Why Mothers Have Gray Hair

The airborne figure is StoneMason, doing what he loves best, competing on his snowboard.

NEWS FLASH!

Just found out that Princess Granddaughter is going to be a Big Sister. Her little brother or sister will arrive late in July, and will bring my grandkid count up to four. Since Princess Granddaughter is approaching five years old, I had doubted whether they'd have another one, but I guess they need another child to use some of the eight zillion toys PG has or has outgrown...(giggling madly, since I'm responsible for a bunch of them).

Ever so much more fun to talk about than NT exams!

Home Stretch

Survived the Hebrew mid-term today. Survived the Liturgics final and the Old Testament mid-term yesterday. Survived the Church Music take-home final last week. Only the New testament final awaits. Tomorrow morning. All Paul, all the time. Since we have yet to receive ANY of our written work back from this prof - didn't get our mid-term back either - we are all shooting in the dark in rpeparing for this examination. If I didn't love his lectures so much, I'd really be ticked.

I've worked with a wonderful study group on this material, but I still feel somewhat lost on preparing for it. The possible essay questions are so broad-ranging I hardly know where to begin. Oh, well, in another day it will all be past me, and then I'll be on to the next thing.

On a less stressful note, I've got all the gifts wrapped except for the hom-knit ones, and I'll get the last of them done within 48 hours (Litigator's skullcap). I think I am ready for a rest.

Then again, the Hebrew prof gave us homework...

Global Warming, or at least Local Warming

It will be in the mid-70's today in Your Nation's Capital. About 30 degrees higher than normal. My pocketbook likes it - lower heating bill - but my daffodil bulbs are way confused and all my non-winter clothes are stored away. Mebbe I should go naked....

No.

Never mind.

Bad idea.

It would scare horses and small children.

Back to studying...

My weekend with no one (well, not quite)...

Done this weekend:

1) outlined Genesis and Exodus in preparation for the OT exam. Still working on Leviticus. How much of it have I retained? I haven't a clue.

2) reviewed 500 Hebrew words, 5 different conjugations or paradigms, rules for all sorts of Hebrew grammar. How much of it have I retained? I haven't a clue.

3) did an analysis of Romans for my NT study group and organized and shared my class notes with my fellow students. How much of it have I retained? I haven't a clue.

4) organized all my materials for my open-book liturgics exam (I'll re-read the key articles tomorrow night). How much of it have I retained? I haven't a clue.

5) noted with sadness the decision by several Episcopal churches in my diocese to leave ECUSA to become part of the Church of Nigeria. Does this mean the end of ECUSA? Hardly. Does this mean the end of the debate? Hardly, but dialogue is better than picking up one's marbles and walking away. Jesus weeps.

6) started my new icon - turns out I'll be doing Saint Matthew, since I couldn't find a model icon for Sophia that spoke to me. It was soothing to pray and work on this project, although I won't put my hands on it again until mid-February after my research trip to the Persian Gulf, diocesan council and class retreat. I'll miss working on it. I had hoped my Saint Peter would be back - my teacher is varnishing it now - but he wasn't quite ready yet. I'll see him when I get back from my travels.

7) finished the first Woodsman Sock for StoneMason, and am periodically taking a break from studying to knit Sock Number Two, which I expect will be done in a day or two. Feels good to do something tactile and finite. I'm going to try and get a skullcap done for Litigator by Christmas...it'll be tight. I'd like to give something knitted to each kid (made a shawl/scarf thing for StrongOpinions already).

8) did four loads of laundry. How do we get so many things dirty in the course of a week?

9) went to a former Senior Warden's party. Good to be with friends, but the introvert in me can only take so much of that before I want to go for a walk in the woods, or take a nap.

10) visited a potential Field Ed site that I really liked. I'll talk with the vicar again at diocesan council.

Our OT professor, noting our jumpiness last week, said, "You know, you wouldn't be here if God didn't want you to be here, and God will help you. You know more than you think you do. Trust the Spirit." Wise words. I need to keep saying them to myself at least 2000 more times until Thursday noon, when the exams are done.

PH has been a prince, cooking for me. I am blessed!

I covet your prayers for this coming week, for focus, calm, and good memory.

Coming Up For Air One of These Days

I sang as soprano soloist at another Messiah last night, this one at the home parish. I'm hip deep in finishing the semester. Last session of the Liturgical Music class this evening, along with prep for the online exam. The Hebrew prof is driving us full throttle so we get through Chapter 15 before the final (gack). Piel verb forms. We finished the Pauline corpus in NT, and tomorrow we tackle more OT (scary looking forward toward THAT test). Last Liturgics class and practicum tomorrow (another exam that fills me with dread). Plus I've got to work on the study notes for my study group on Romans. Seems I'm the only one in the group who actually read the book that the prof assigned for Romans...

So I got back a small paper - one-pager - from the OT prof, who felt I should have gone deeper, and gave me a 3 out of 5. Gee whiz, how deep can you go on a one-page paper? 'Twas a small comfort that the others in the class also got 3's. The next paper for her is due tomorrow. Suffice to say it is three pages.

Five exams await, two online. I know I will survive, but it will be a busy week and a half. Plus I'm interviewing for a CPE placement on Wednesday. Plus I've been visiting different churches every Sunday scoping out potential Field ed placements for next year.

I think I need chocolate.

Or Valium.

At least I got my icon of Saint Peter done on Saturday. If Irena gets it varnished for me by next week, I'll take a picture and post it for you. He came out better than I thought he would. Saint Matthew will be next.

Knitting when I've got a moment here or there. Another pair of socks (probably for strong Opinions) will be done by tomorrow; then I'll start a pair of heavyweight socks for Stonemason, who's working this winter on chimney repairs in the North Country.

Maybe Thorazine.

Or sleep.

Whatcha think?

Ah, Saturday Night!

We did reasonably well at our Seminary Choir Messiah sing-along last night. It was a full house in the chapel. My singing of the soprano solos was well-received. Given that the other soloists were our choir director ( a tenor with an international reputation in his younger days as a specialist in early music) and two young people with vocal performance degrees from two of the best conservatories in the country, I was grateful to have not embarrassed myself. It was somewhat disconcerting to look up and see several of my professors in the audience. . .

Today was a whirlwind of various and sundry errands, but I got to icon-writing in the midst of it. St. Peter is two or three weeks away from being done. I'll post a pic of him when he's finished. I'd like to get him done before I go to the Middle East for January term and my independent study project. I'm trying to decide which icon I'll do next. I'd like to do a St Paul, but I'm also intrigued by the possibility of doing a Sophia. We shall see.

I was pleased to finish phase two of my NT exegesis paper. This part was word study. I was grateful to have studied Greek before getting to seminary - it made the research much more understandable. it was supposed to be five pages, but I barely kept the text of the paper to eight. It actually was something of a gas to do. Am tunring into an exegesis geek?

I'm up ten pounds since I started seminary, whch is annoying. It's mostly due to a lack of exercise. I'm lucky to get seven hours of sleep, much less add in 30-40 minutes of exercise. I suppose I should make the time. I'm not able to get all of the reams of reading assignments done (I'm not alone amongst my classmates in that regard) so it feels strange to be thinking of trying to fit exercise in as well.

I got brave and went to Costco for some household odds'n'ends, plus winter socks for StrongOpinions out in the cold and snow of Colorado, and gifts for the grandbabies. The crowds were not too bad, and I got out without buying anything stupid or ridiculously self-indulgent. I even got StrongOpinions' package mailed (including rolls of quarters for the laundromat - why she can't get to the bank herself, I don't know, but that aspect of living on her own hasn't quite settled yet).

Short ribs are braising on the stove, and I'm just about ready to crash for the night. Tomorrow I'll go check out another possible field ed site, and in the evening go to a showing of "The Ten Commandments." Believe it or not, it's an assignment for my OT class...

...and maybe somewhere in there, my dear usband and I will get to actually sit and talk to each other. What a concept!

Knitting Again - Yay!

Having finished the shawl/scarf for StrongOpinions while in Windy City, I have started a pair of socks. Feels good to be knitting again...I just have a couple of papers to complete this week that may interrupt the knitting fiesta. Dang!

Windy City Adventures

Thanksgiving. Wow.

Way too much food, especially of the carb-laden variety. My mother-in-law made the food extravanganza yesterday, while some of my generation and some of the littler ones went downtown to watch the parade. The Lawn Chair Dads precision lawn-chair drill team was the high point. They wore red union suits with sleeveless t-shirts and print boxer shorts over them, furry arctic bomber hats with earflaps, and black socks and sandals. Truly a sight to behold. We kept ourselves warm with a thermos of coffee for adults and of hot chocolate for the kids. I was surprised by the number of vendors giving out freebies (Naked Juice, for example, and free porta-potties with 7-11 logos plastered all over them!) Great fun, and not overly cold for Windy City on Thanksgiving.

I should have gone out walking each morning, but didn't. The jeans are definitely feeling snug.

I've got a pot of turkey wild rice vegetable soup on the stove, to get the last bits of flavor out of the carcass, and to give us something a little lighter on the digestive system for supper. There's also a butternut squash soup in the works. My veterinarian brother-in-law (a man of many talents) has a pumpkin cheesecake in the oven.

We went down to the great big art museum today. No icons per se, but some early Italian religious images in tempera on board that clearly were influenced by them. I successfully avoided buying stuff in the museum store. I did fall victim to a great buy on a Norwegian sweater in the store for all things Swedish. Here's the advantage to being short - you can fit into kid's size clothes sometimes. And a kid's Norwegian sweater is one-third the price of a grown-up one. And I never knit something for myself - I only knit for others, so I have to buy for myself (poor me!).

Speaking of knitting, I'm slowly getting back into it. Hadn't knit a thing since August when I started seminary. But StrongOpinions had asked for a combination shawl/scarf thing, and I saw some great bulky yarn, so I whipped that off. I should get back into gear on my sister-in-law's Norse sweater (it's about 1/2 done). I had planned to give it to her for this Christmas, but I'm afraid she'll get it next Christmas. Ah, well. It feels good to be knitting again, though.

Tomorrow we'll get up, have a bite, and head to the airport and back home to Your Nation's Capital. It's good to be with family, but it's also good to be home.

So where are you?

News update on break-ups, mess-ups, and speak-ups

On the breakup of StrongOpinions and Semi-Useless Boyfriend:
I was worried about my girl, so I cashed in some frequent flyer miles, went out to Buddhist University last weekend and made sure she was eating and such. I took her out to eat a couple of times, made a batch of vegetarian chili and put it in the freezer, adn took her for some retail therapy. she seems to be doing better. SUB called last week, though, and wanted to get back together. SO is appropriately skeptical. I'm hoping she decides it's over once and for all, but mothers can't push about such things. She can do better, though.

On the Congress:
No sooner did Nancy Pelosi ascend to the Speakership than she tripped over her (very chic) Armani pantsuit and backed Jack Murtha for her second in command. The predictable result was that he lost, and her former rival, Steny Hoyer, won. An embarrassment, since she expended much political capital trying to get her candidate the job. She should have done better, but I'm still hoping she can do better.

On ECUSA:
Our new Presiding Bishop, Katharine, sent a very crisp letter (http://www.episcopalchurch.org/3577_79844_ENG_HTM.htm) to a bishop who, unhappy about the past 30+ years of ECUSA's decisions, was threatening to pull his whole diocese out of the church. It was the letter I was hoping someone, somehow, someday would write. Finally! She has done better, and I'm proud. You go, girl!

On school:
I am busily writing, and reading, and translating, and memorizing. I'm trying to NOT feel guilty about going to PH's family in the Windy City for Thanksgiving. Rationally I know I cannot get it all done, even if I stay home chained to the books and the computer, but irrationally, I worry. (mumbling to myself: "all will be well, all will be well...")

I will do better at managing my own expectations of myself.

Eventually.

(And you blog-lurkers, c'mon and check in with me. I love to know you're there reading my pithy prose.)

Gray Day

It's wet, the leaves are mostly on the ground, and I'm tired.

StrongOpinions and Semi-Useless Boyfriend broke up yesterday (his idea), and I've been fielding calls from far away from her as she deals with the pain. She called last night at 2:30 am. I am not at my best at 2:30 am (who is?) so I tried to comfort her and get her to sleep. More similar calls during school today. It's so hard when you lose your first love.

I managed to stay awake in classes today. Barely. I hope I'll get a full night's sleep tonight.

I'm feeling swamped by the amount of reading the profs are expecting this semester, but I think I'll survive. The good news is that Hebrew is such a gas that I end up doing more work than required since it's so amazing.

The other good news was the changeover in the House of Representatives - I'm not fond of one-party government. The bad news was the passage of a marriage bill in our state - marriage defined as one man and one woman - that seems to be legislation at its worst. It's mean-spirited, it has a number of unintended consequences not only for gay couples but for straight couples who are not married, and it does nothing to help the body politic.

Don't these folks have more important things to worry about?

Meanwhile, our bishop left this hospital this morning - they thought he might have had a little stroke, but he is doing fine. He doesn't have an easy job, and he does it with grace. I'm hoping this was just a blip on the radar screen.

I had to take the car to the body shop this afternoon after school. It was parked on the street in front of our house, and someone backed into the side of it and scraped the whole driver's side. It goes without saying that the guilty party didn't leave a note on my car. $1725 worth of damage. Thank goodness for insurance.

Yes, I know the good news items outnumber the bad news items. It's still a cold rainy gray day, though. Now if the Secretary of State of the Commonwealth would just certify that Jim Webb has beaten George Allen, I think I'd feel like the sun has come out.

The Investiture and Seating, and Why I Don't Like Liturgical Dance

On Saturday, I watched the investiture of our new Presiding Bishop, the incomparable Katharine Jefferts Schori, on my computer. We were supposed to watch it at Big Old Seminary on a big screen, but the technology failed us. That's fine, because my house is only five minutes away, and the service was two hours long. You can check it out here if you'd like:
http://www.episcopalchurch.org/investiture/

It was marvelous. Amazing music across many different cultures (you haven't lived until you've seen a couple hundred bishops - mostly WASP - in chimeres and rochets and all that, bopping to Siyahamba), beautiful liturgy, great sermon.

And then there were the liturgical dancers. I am admittedly a curmudgeon, but I just don't get a bunch of people running around whipping pieces of cloth in the air. None of these folks were Baryshnikov or Twyla Tharp by any stretch of the imagination. It all seems a bit forced to me. Maybe the more visually oriented people can explain what I'm missing, but it seems too 70s for words. I lived in the 70s the first time around, and it wasn't any more attractive then.

I could have done with something with a bit more gravitas than the tie-dyed look vestments (I'm turning intoPeaceBang) but other than that, it was wonderful. Very moving, and the sermon was powerful.

Then on Sunday, I went down to the Cathedral for her seating and Eucharist. Several fellow seminarians were part of it, and a number of us were among the congregation. Another amazing event, with many of the same features as the investiture (including the dancers, darnit) - it was great to see and feel it from another angle. Many of us were moved to tears by the import of it. Who'd have thought even 20 years ago that we'd see this moment?

God grant her strength for the time to come. It won't be easy.

Both ends of the spectrum

I got back my Hebrew final...

(drum roll, please)

97.7

Now you know exactly how geeky the prof is, that I ended up with a grade like that.

I got an A for the semester, since we started in August term. glad; it was hard work, and i loved it. Still, I'm taking the second semester pass-fail, since it will only get crazier.

I did my Liturgics mid-term. Sixteen questions, multiple choice, open book. A half-hour to take it.

Piece of cake, right?

Not.

Only two questions referenced what was covered in the lectures. The rest were obscure factoids from the readings, and we're talking obscure here, not the main themes.

My grade? 75. And I was grateful to get that, given what some of my classmates got.

This was a lesson in humility. Also in not getting too wrapped up in the grade thing. It's about the skills and about grace, and not about a number. I need reminding of that on a regular basis.

As for the other exams and papers, none have yet been returned. Another lesson: patience. Drat.

PH is off at a conference this weekend, so the cats and I are alone in the house. I have gotten a few movies from Blockbuster, and I intend to do studying/reading/homework and videowatching. Tomorrow at 11 I'll join a bunch of fellow seminarians in one of our auditoriums to watch the investiture of our new Presiding Bishop, Katharine Jefferts Schori. Sunday, a number of us will go to the Washington National Cathedral for her seating. I am thrilled!

RevGals Friday Five: Toofies

Friday Five: Toofies

Please share your thoughts on the following:

1) The Tooth Fairy
I got quarters, too. My kids got a buck a tooth. now I hear that some little ones around here get a fiver per tooth. Seems a bit high to me - does that make me a curmudgeon?

2) Flossing
I don't like to floss, but I do love my little steel curved toothpick that does the same thing, only better. I use an electric toothbrush that's supposed to stimulate my gums.

3) Toothpaste Brands
StrongOpinions, being Miss organic, uses Tom's of Maine. I like plain old garden variety Colgate.

4) Orthodontia for Adults
If you need 'em, get 'em. Lots of folks (like RM's friend) come from families that didn't have the resources when they were kids. Go for it. PH, who grew up a missionary kid in Africa, dodged the bullet, but others he knew didn't. Since they were home on itineration for a year, all orthodontic work had to be completed in that timeframe. It was a painful thing, getting what took the rest of us three or four years all done in one. Poor things. I wonder if they would have preferred to have waited until they got home for college.

5) Whitening products
They often make the teeth look unnaturally white. Seems a bit much for me, but I think we've already established that I'm a curmudgeon.

RevGals Ghoulish Friday Five

1. Do you enjoy a good fright?
No. I've had some bad stuff happen to me that make me less than enthralled by scary happenings, because sometimes it's not a game.

2. Scariest movie you've ever seen
I'm with RM - "Silence of the Lambs" tops my scary movie list. When I was a teen, "The Exorcist" was way up there on the scare list. For some strange reason, an old movie called "Soylent Green" scared the *** out of me when I was in college, but who knows why.

3. Bobbing for apples: choose one and discuss: a) Nothing scary about that! Good wholesome fun. b) Are you *kidding* me?!? The germs, the germs!
I don't find it scary. I don't worry about the germs. However, as someone with temperature sensitive teeth, I have been unpleasantly surprised when my mouth hit the water once or twice in the past. Yeeoow!

4. Real-life phobia
Having to walk in a dark place at night in a less-than-savory neighborhood. See #1 above. Something similarly scary happened to StrongOpinions last week, and we're still both a bit freaked out by it.

5. Favorite "ghost story"
The opera DonGiovanni, and the ghost of the Commendatore. If you've got to have someone scary, make him a good singer. Second best: "Hamlet." What can I say? If it's in iambic pentameter, it can't be all THAT scary!

Prayers, Please-

...for dear L. She had become engaged to a wonderful man (after a number of years as a single mother) and was looking forward to the wedding in a few months.

Her fiancee was found dead of a heart attack two days ago.

Give rest, O Christ, to thy servant W. with thy saints, where sorrow and pain are no more, neither sighing but life everlasting.

Sometimes God gives us gifts that last a lifetime, like a slow-burning candle. Sometimes God gives us gifts that are like a meteor shower, exploding with beauty, but so very transitory. Who is to say which is the greater gift? We can only thank God for His gifts, even as we grieve their transitory nature.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all confort: deal graciously, we pray thee, with all those who mourn, that casting every care on thee, they may know the consolation of thy love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

We love you, L. We loved W. for loving you, and we grieve with you.

No Rest for the Weary

...not when there are two cats in the house.

I was up early this morning, getting ready for a field trip to a funeral home. I was just getting dressed when I heard a mighty crash from downstairs. I went downstairs and the two cats were in the kitchen, looking nervous. A marble cheese board which normally resides on the counter was on the floor, broken in two. I suspect one or the other of them tried to jump up on the counter onto it, and it slipped off and broke. In thinking of the expressions on the cats' faces, I'm reminded of the first words my dear husband learned as a second-grader in Belgium many years ago: "Ce n'etait pas moi." The cats always speak French when they do something bad; they think it makes them seem less guilty and more charmant...

Then it was off to the farmer's market for beautiful apples, then to the funeral home, and now I'm hip-deep in Hebrew and Liturgics et al for my exams next week. Later I've got a rehearsal for a concert I'm singing in tomorrow, a fundraiser for a homeless ministry here in Your Nation's Capitol, and a dinner part tonight. I'm trying not to feel guilty about the time spent away from studying. It will be what it will be.

Word for the Day: Hesychasm

So a goodly part of the day was spent doing abstracts of previous lectures for my New Testament study group. Reading, analyzing, winnowing out the important factoids and themes. It's necessary work (our mid-terms are next week) but it's not the most rewarding stuff in the world.

I took a break to go to Evensong at 5:30. It was a wonderful and peaceful end to a rainy, cool day. I love the quiet. I love the singing. I love the meditation on Scripture (great reading from Jeremiah tonight). I love the incense. It's an opportunity to take the time to go deep into prayer, which is often very difficult to do. Mostly I love the darkness in the chapel (this service is lit by four candles and just a bit of light over our psalters) and the quiet.

After evensong, I came back home, finished up the fifth lecture write-up, and cooked dinner. I had grand plans for studying Hebrew, but I was too tired, so I went upstairs with my big book on icons, to research an icon of unknown provenance in the seminary's Oratory. I got what I needed (it's a Harrowing of Hell, probably a copy of something from early Moscow school), but I got lost in the wonderful book, reading and remembering why I love icons so much.

And I found out about hesychasts, who spent their life in silence so they could meditate and pray. They may have used repetition of the Jesus Prayer as a meditative tool. It's an ascetic practice from the 3rd C, noted by Chrysostom and the Sayings of the Desert Fathers.

It also informs the work of some of the early icon writers. Some of the proponents of the practice were the subjects of icons as well.

The thought of quiet and a disciplined meditative practice seems very appealing right now, although I doubt I could sustain it for the long haul. Maybe just an evensong's worth of hesychasm...

Sex Ed For Clergy

One of the requirements in this diocese for all clergy, seminarians, and paid staff in parishes is that they take two sexual abuse/misconduct prevention classes, one targeted at protecting children, one dealing with issues for and about adults. I spent my Thursday at the Adult class.

I wanted to take a shower when I came home.

I understand the importance of this training, and I buy into the ways we need to prevent such bad acts and protect ourselves as clergy.

I just wish this was a different world, and we didn't have to think about it. One of my seminary classmates was there with me, and she and I were disturbed to see that one description of bad acting sounded frighteningly like some behavior we've observed in one of our classmates, who has, as they say, "issues." The surprising thing in both of our minds is how we thought our rigorous "process of discernment" was supposed to take folks like that off the front burner until they had worked through those issues. I guess it doesn't always work that way. Dang.

I came home to wonderful, delightfully sane PH, who doesn't have any issues (or any issues he has complement mine delightfully). We went out for an anniversary dinner that we could ill afford, but life is short and we both were ready for a treat. It cleaned away that icky feeling I'd had all day in the class. Life is good.

I'm past my whine-fest of the other day - thanks for understanding.

Friday Five: Creature Comforts

Thanks to ReverendMother for this lovely Friday Five - it made me feel relaxed just thinking about it:

1. Comfort beverage : a pot of white jasmine tea, or a mix of Diet V-8 Tropical Splash and sparkling water, or a glass of Sancerre.
2. Comfort chair: the big old burgundy leather sofa in the living room. I stretch out on it with my nice warm laptop on my lap and websurf, or I put the laptop down and pretend to read wile actually dozing.
3. Comfort read: silly mindless detective novels and thrillers, or nonfiction about food.
4. Comfort television/DVD/music
TV: Grey's Anatomy and House...I've always had a thing for doctor shows.
DVD: Anything with Alan Rickman, or the Vicar of Dibley videos, or anything with Helen Mirren.
Music: Carrie Newcomer (just like RM), Bryn Terfel (great Welsh bass-baritone), Thomas Quasthoff (great German bass-baritone). Bach. Some Mozart. Anything done by Yo-Yo Ma.
5. Comfort companion(s): PH, of course. The cats, although only Spooky seems to like to cuddle up next to me. My friend L, who's been a pal through thick and thin.

The other great comfort thing is a nap. That's my Sunday pleasure: falling asleep for an hour or so on the aforementioned sofa, with the New York Times magazine section on my lap, and a pot of tea on the table beside me. Bliss!

Want Some Cheese with that Whine?

I volunteered to be a class chaplain. It's the sort of thing I love to do, and that I think I do pretty well. Apparently a number of other folks felt the same way, and also volunteered. I didn't get picked.

So now I feel like an eight year old who didn't get picked for the school play. Cranky and rejected and wondering why I'm doing this.

Yes, I know it's childish.

Part of the challenge of going to seminary is having to redefine myself. No one here knows me as a very smart person. I'm not feeling terribly bright these days, frankly. No one here knows me as a good musician. I'm intimidated by the choir director, who has very strong opinions, not all of which I agree with. No one here knows me as an excellent administrator. The folks who got elected to those sorts of roles are living in the dorms and were elected because they were popular amongst the dorm residents.

So today I'm feeling old, dumb, unwanted, and invisible. I'm doing it to myself, of course. That doesn't make it any less painful.

Somebody please kick me in the butt and tell me to stop being such an idiot.

What Day Off?

I'm working my way through Leander Keck's "Who is Jesus." Only problem with reading this stretched out on the couch is that I keep dozing off. This may be the sum total of restful activities for this three day weekend.

PH has been down in New Orleans for the past several days, gutting houses in the Lower Ninth Ward with a team from our church. He's coming home tonight, tired and a little sore, but glad to have done the work. I've missed him so much. I can't wait to pick him up at the airport tonight.

I've been doing all the wonderful stuff one does when one is alone for a few days: catching up on laundry, planting a hundred spring bulbs, watching a couple of videos, cooking dinner for two other friends from seminary who are part of our midlife seminarian group (giving them a break from the refectory cuisine), cleaning, problem-solving from afar for StrongOpinions, whose phone gave up the ghost, taking stuff to the recycling center...you get the picture.

For my Field Ed prep class, I went out on my third church visit yesterday, to a corporate-sized church. This category is for churches with over 450 members. The church I visited has 1500 members, with seven services from Sat. night through Sunday evening. Very, very low church, and very conservative. They are going through 40 days of discernment after which they will decide if they are leaving the Episcopal church. From the sermon that was preached, they've already decided they're leaving. The only open question is whether they'll try to affiliate with the Anglican Church in Nigeria, Rwanda, or Uganda, or form something else entirely here in the US. The priest told us that ECUSA is preaching apostasy.

Suffice to say it was rather difficult to sit through.

The Sunday before, we visited a tiny African American church across the river. No magnificent Steiner Renk organ with trumpets en chamade, just a little electric organ that had seen better days. No thirty thousand dollar sound board and awesome praise band, just a rector who could preach with power and joy and a five member choir that got the rest of the parishioners singing, too. No fancy Newcomers' Welcome Center, just parishioners that all wanted to greet us and give us a hug and ask us "are you going to be our seminarian?" No message filled with political rancor, just a sermon that encouraged us to take on the responsibility of all that God calls us to be.

Guess which one I liked better?

R.I.P. Moses

At 11 pm last night, the phone rang.

Never a good sign, since the universe knows I'm incoherent after ten.

It was StrongOpinions, in tears because Moses, her gecko, died while she was in class. She hadn't thought he was sick, although he seemed a tad sluggish to her. She came home from food-shopping, and there he was in his little habitat, on his back. She was inconsolable. I talked to her and tried to soothe her from afar for a half hour.

This morning in chapel we celebrated the feast of St Francis of Assisi, who is known, of course, for his great love of animals. All I could think of was poor Moses, and poor StrongOpinions, who shares Francis' deep respect and love for all of God's creatures, even the least of them.

I told her tonight that I admired her love and care for her little gecko, and that he had a good life with her.

Not that I'm anxious to see another gecko in our household, but I think I'll miss the little guy.

Just in case you were wondering...

RM mentioned in a comment on a prior post that I was looking radiant when I was at the concert at her church last weekend.

The truth is that it has nothing to do with seminary.

It's the vast quantities of silver hair shining under the lights now that I've stopped dyeing it.

Aw, shucks! It's no fun basking in the reflected glory of your own gray hair.

Yes, I'm Still Here

...just a little swamped with work right now. It's all good, and I'm loving it. I got deeply engrossed in an exegesis last night and the next thing I knew, it was 11:30 pm. Would that I could get as joyfully engrossed in Hebrew grammar!

I did get to do some fun things this weekend: a community dinner at the seminary, a dinner with the rector of the church we helped out on the Gulf Coast this past February, a concert by the absolutely transcendent Carrie Newcomer at RM's church, and dinner out with dear PH last night. In between, it was reading, reading, reading, writing, writing, writing (with some loads of laundry in-between).

StrongOpinions got an A+ on a paper about feminist perspectives on the Bible. I hope some of her smarts rub off on her mother!

I am mostly over the icky cold, just some occasional sniffles and hacks. This, too, shall pass.

Back later.

Bleahhh

Still feeling awful. I went to bed early, and slept in StrongOpinions' room since I didn't want to infect poor PH, who's doing a 100-mile bike ride today (what cyclists call a century) up in Maryland and Pennsylvania.

I got up and took some DayQuil in hopes of beating it back, so my nose isn't drippy, but my throat still hurts and my head feels like it's stuffed full of cotton. I will skip icon writing today, which gives you an indicator of how vile I feel.

I'm perched on the couch with my nice warm laptop, and should really put it away and get started on my Hebrew homework. I can't afford to be sick right now, but whining about it won't help. Is it too early for me to take a nap?

Friday Five: Five Things I've enjoyed This Week

I'm sitting here feeling yucky from what feels like a bad sore throat/flu coming on, so meditating on things I've enjoyed may put me in a better frame of mind (I hope):

1. Small group worship this morning. Here at Big old Seminary, on Fridays we don't go to chapel in the mornings, we go to our faculty advisor's home (all faculty are given houses on the campus) for worship, fellowship, meetings about stuff. We had a lovely Presbyterian service led by one of our two advisors, some great coffee cake made by the other advisor, and some wonderful and frank conversation among our group of nine students and the advisors.

2. Blue Bunny Sweet Freedom Ice Cream Bars. Sugarfree, so I don't feel guilty. Delicious so I feel indulged. Life is good.

3. A hug this morning from PH that made me feel so safe and loved in the midst of all this change and chaos and fear in my life.

4. The first rehearsal of the motet choir. It was so good to be singing with a group of good singers. I NEEDED to sing, even though my voice wasn't at its best. And the new choir director is awesome.

5. A commitment from my rector to help cover the cost of some vestments I need to buy. Whew!

I'm going away now to take some TheraFlu.

About that Hebrew...

...remind me why I'm so ticked off that I only got a 91 on the final...

Gotta find a way to shuck that competitive streak...

What?

Anne Lamott talks in one of her wonderful books about her friend, whose two modes of prayer are "Thanks" and "what??!!"

I'm feeling rather "what??!!??" this evening.

Today was registration. Being in something so new and unfamiliar, and being a beginner after umpty-ump years of being the resident expert on something, is odd and disorienting. Tomorrow classes start, and I think I'll feel better sitting in a classroom with someone telling me what is expected of me. I do better with the parameters circumscribed around me than floating free.

Igor Stravinsky once said that the thing he feared the most was a blank page. No decisions made yet as to what the music was to be about, no choices as to form, not even a key signature or a meter. Once the initial decisions were made, he could be bold.

I suspect that this is a bit of what I'm feeling, although nothing I produce will be "The Rite of Spring." I need the boundaries defined for me, then I can press against them.

The debate du jour - you knew I couldn't do this seminary thing without stretching the envelope - is whether I'll run for something in student government. Odd to be considering this some 18 years after I ran for statewide public office (it wasn't a rollicking success story, but that's a tale for another day). I wonder if I'd have the time, I wonder if it would be nothing but a pain in the butt, I wonder if it's something I might called to do, I wonder if I'm over-thinking it.

Some things never change.

Perhaps I'll just wait and see if someone nominates me or someone volunteers. My guess, though, is that everyone will sit around waiting for someone else to do something, and I'll fill up that empty space by volunteering. We'll see. I have until Thursday to suss it out, and since I'm having dental work done that morning, I may be unable to speak.

It may be a good thing, that Novocaine!

Life is what happens when you're making other plans

I really did have grand plans to study hard last night.

Really.

But first I decided I needed to bake some cookies for Hebrew class. We're all so very exhausted right now, I figured it would be a pick-me-up. I made ma'amoul, a date-filled shortbread that you can get all over the Middle East. Of course, I was doing it for me as well, since I felt the need to do something tactile and finite. Funny how cookies came to mind instead of cleaning the house.

So that took an hour.

Then the phone rang, and it was a friend who needed to talk. Fine. I love to talk with her - she's got the same very quirky sense of humor that I have.

So that took an hour.

Then it was getting on towards dinner time, so I started dinner for PH and me. Chicken with pesto, some orzo, a nice salad with tomatoes from the farmers' market. We had dinner.

So that took an hour.

Then I sat down on the couch to finally start studying, and the phone rang. It was an out-of-town friend who had some fun news and who wanted to find out how I was liking seminary.

So that took an hour. Well, more like 40 minutes.

Then I settled into the couch again to finally FINALLY start studying and StrongOpinions called up from college to bemoan the amount of reading assignments and papers that have already been assigned to her.

That only took a half an hour.

I went to bed.

The good news is that we didn't have a quiz this morning, and I have another night to study the new vocab words before the final exam tomorrow.

So what am I doing? Posting to my blog.

I guess I win the Procrastinator's Award for this week. I hope I get a couple of points extra credit for the cookies.

My Brain is Full

That seems to be the operative phrase these days, as we memorize another 25-30 Hebrew words per day plus a new verb paradigm every couple of days. I still seem to be aceing the class, but we'll see what happens on the exam on Friday.

The Oral Interpretation fo Scripture calss has gotten more interesting and challenging. I worked on Isaiah 53:1-6 for today. What a problematical text for a reader! The first verse had me frustrated, so I went to a couple of commentaries, Brueggeman "Theology of the Old Testament" and then picked PH's brain for a while. I came up with a reading that my prof and classmates found compelling, but I find it hard to imagine spending as much time on the job on a reading, rather than a text I'm exegeting for a sermon. I now know that all those times I read in church before were less than distinguished. I also realize that training lay lectors is a challenge.

We got our orientation to Clinical Pastoral Ed today, and I've got ideas about a couple of places I'd like to apply. I'm looking at the places that scare me the most - the ones most likely to stretch me. Heaven knows I never do things the easy way, so this would fit. We'll be doing CPE next summer, but the application process starts in September. The prep work and application process will overlap that of Field Ed, so I should be truly overwhelmed most of the fall.

PH is happy my advisor talked me down from the insanity of trying to do 16 credits in the fall - I've cut it back to 13, which will be enough in every sense.NT will overlap OT, Liturgics, Liturgical Music, continuing Hebrew, the Field Ed prep class. I'll just be glad not having a bunch of new Hebrew words to memorize every single day.

I think I need a nap.

Friday's Hebrew Class Meditation

'Twas my turn to do the pre-class devotion:



Barukh atah Adonai, ha-mavdel ben kodesh l’chol. (Amein)

Blessed are you, Lord, who separates the sacred from the mundane.

This is the final line of the final prayer that closes Shabbat on Saturday evenings.


Let us pray.


Lord, Hebrew is hard.

Yesterday as we left class, our brains were reeling with the sheer volume of information with which we were presented. We were worried about our quiz score, whether we’d get the “qal” paradigm memorized by Monday, if we would ever be able to gracefully pronounce guttural sounds, much less memorize rules about gutturals and radicals. We may have wondered why we were doing this, and if perhaps we would have been wiser to opt for Greek.

There was a moment, though, Lord, when we were listening to Mark read that excerpt from Genesis, when a thin beam of light shone on us. We could hear the poetry, sense the rhythm and even get a hint of the humor of the language. We could imagine that this difficult and ancient language of our forebears might one day be meaningful to us, that it would inform our exegesis of Scripture, that it would teach us about the very different world in which it was written.

Lord, it is so easy for us to forget that this is not simply about memorization of today’s vocabulary words and rules, although that’s an important part of the work. It is not about these words. It is about Your Word. It is about the sacred, not the mundane.

Keep shining that thin beam of Your light on us as we struggle to learn. Actually, a broader beam would be helpful, but that’s Your decision, not ours.

Let us never forget, though, that we seek the sacred not in extraordinary moments but in the mundane work we are called to do everyday.

We ask Your blessing on us and on our work this day.

Amen.

...so how come I can't train my cat to do this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7Qe1muGKSg

Humans aren't the only creatures who can be OCD.

Happy Birthday, Princess Granddaughter

It's hard to believe you're four, but here comes that birthday on Friday and you're a big girl princess!

You've given me such wonderful gifts:

• seeing the next generation and all the hope for the future it contains
• seeing your dad all grown up and watching him be such a wonderful daddy
• seeing the love that binds your mommy and daddy and you
• watching you go through all the phases and changes I never got to enjoy with my own children - I was too worried about it all - as a mommy
• giving unconditional love and getting it right back
• your smile and your endless curiosity.

I just wish we were a little closer to each other so I could enjoy your company more often. Virtual hugs and kisses and a gift in the mail from

Your GrandMary.

Backwards

I'm hip-deep in Hebrew and am actually loving it, although we'll see how long the honeymoon glow will continue.

The prof has relaxed a bit, the class has relaxed a bit, and I aced my first two quizzes, so I'm feeling good.

Note to self: don't eat a big lunch, otherwise you'll find it hard to stay awake for the after-lunch lecture class.

Note to self, part the second: remember a sweater since the a/c is ratcheted up really high.

Note to self, part the third: yes, the rolling book bag is geeky, but with the Hebrew text, the notebook, the lexicon, the Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia, the Book of Common Prayer, the NRSV Bible, plus assorted other stuff, it is your only hope of avoiding the chiropractor.

The question du jour: should I leave Hebrew as a pass-fail, or should I request a letter grade? Right now (just a couple of days into it), I feel like I'm in the top group in the class, but that could certainly change. Dare I tempt fate?

Miscellany: Hail and Farewell

I'm taking a brief break from studying my Hebrew alef-beth to visit with you all. Not necessarily the wisest thing, since we have a quiz tomorrow morning, but my brain is tired.

Our prof for Hebrew is a doctoral candidate at a nearby university, and this is first class at Grand Old Seminary. He hasn't quite gotten the ethos of the place (no, we don't skip class, and yes, the default is pass-fail for Biblical languages) but he seems quite bright, and eventually I hope he'll stop treating us like undergraduates. On the other hand, he seems to have a real passion for the subject, so it may turn out to be a wonderful class. We were all pretty shell-chocked by the time we left class this morning.

Afternoon was consumed by a lecture on worship services in our world, and the philosophy and variety of the services during the week. Interesting stuff, but we were all fading sitting there in a warm chapel after lunch. A bird flew in and perched on the altar crucifix - it added a moment of levity and interest that kept us from falling asleep while the Dean was speaking.

Then I went home to make supper and take StrongOpinions to the airport - she's off to her dad's and thence on to college. Here's what we learned:

• you don't really need to take everything you think you might need when you're flying to college

• geckos are not allowed by Southwest Airlines

• trying to smuggle a gecko onto an airplane is stressful for all

• trying to smuggle a gecko in the pouch of a jockstrap is not a good idea. A looser pouch under a flowing peasant skirt works well.

The jockstrap (actually a soccer jock, which has a pouch in which a male soccer player would insert a plastic protective cup) was PH's idea. At six pm, we were experimenting with every possible thing to take Moses the gecko off to college, including a sock and a pair of PH's BVDs...that was when he suggested the aforementioned jock. 'Twas a sight to behold. If she were flatter on top, I would have suggested one of my super-sized bras, but --alas --she has inherited my significant bosom. All I could think of was if TSA or the airline had patted her down, they would have thought they were having a "TransAmerica" moment. Thre we were, a seminarian, a minister who just celebrated the 20th anniversary of his ordination, and a Buddhist agnostic 18 year old who wants to save the world, all trying to smuggle a gecko onto a plane.

Someday we'll laugh about all this. Right now I just want another piece of chocolate. It wasn't quite the way I pictured sending my baby girl off to college, but it was true to who we all are.

Unhooking

One of the odd aspects of this change of life is unhooking myself from my home parish, St P's (aka Land of Too Many Government Lawyers). The Commission on Ministry was very clear that I belong to the COM now, not St P's.

Thus, today was my last Friday Morning Women's Bible Study.

The group is a diverse bunch of women with a sense of God's grace and a sense of humor - an unbeatable combination.

We had a bit of a breakfast party, with coffee cake, fruit, coffee, juice, and a litany prepared for me to send me off to seminary, plus the gift of a lovely framed calligraphic rendering of quotes from Jeremiah 29 and 30.

I'll miss our conversations, and the freedom to say whatever pops into my mind about the text (you should have heard us about "uncovered feet") and the unconditional love I've felt.

I'm grieving a bit at the loss, but it's part of the process. Interestingly, our study this morning was on Acts 12: 1-11, and we reflected on Peter's unquestioning following of the angel sent by God to rescue him from prison. It was a useful reminder to me about answering the call and trusting in God.

Prayers Please

My friend the stay-at-home dad of three who was diagnosed with inoperable cancer a couple of years ago died last night. He managed to hang in there with good humor and much grace as he fought the disease. It will be a hard road ahead for his wife and three children.

Depart, O Christian soul, out of this world; In the Name of God the Father Almighty who created you; In the Name of Jesus Christ who redeemed you; In the Name of the Holy Spirit who sanctifies you. May your rest be this day in peace, and your dwelling place in the Paradise of God.

I'm a Stranger Here Myself

We are more or less settled in to our new digs. I'm still adjusting to settling in to my new life.

I've found a good local drugstore, an adequate supermarket which will hold me until the new Harris Teeter is completed just down the road, a place to get the car inspected and some good walking routes for my morning walking meditation time. We've met several seminarian families and have almost finished the rehab of the basement. The books are unpacked - a major undertaking - and the cats have come out from behind the furnace. My spices are now on shelves, and enough of my kitchen stuff is unpacked so I can cook a decent meal. The menu tonight was baked bay scallops, fresh corn, and a salad of grape tomatoes, mozzarella and basil with vinaigrette. Some leftover butterscotch brownies to round it all out, and some leftover Pinot Grigio from last night to smooth the rough edges.

I've got a new library card, I've registered to vote, and the DSL line for my work computer is nearly functional. I can mostly work our voice mail and snail mail appears to be getting forwarded properly.

I haven't found an Asian food market, a small mom and pop hardware store for when I don't have the intestinal fortitude to brave Home Depot, or some good ethnic restaurants.

Rationally, I know that I'm settling in remarkably quickly. I just wish I felt less like a stranger and more like I belong here. An odd sensation, feeling like I'm 17 again. I expect that once I start class I will feel a lot better, or at least less alien.

I think it's time for another brownie.

Musical Friday Five

Ah, what a wonderful Friday Five! Thanks, NotShyChiRev, for giving it to us!

1. Describe the last play or musical you saw. (At least provide the what, when, where, and why). What was your opinion of it?
Not a musical, but an opera, "Le Comte Ory" by Rossini, at Wolf Trap Opera a couple of weeks ago. Hysterically funny story of a horny count who's dodged participating in the Crusades and is instead storming the battlements of a castle to win the maidenhood of the princess therein, masquerading as a holy hermit and giving "advice" to all the young women in the castle who are lonely for their Crusader men off to the war. Great young voices, clever direction, a lot of silly physical humor, a great way to spend a warm Sunday afternoon.

2. All time favorite play? Musical?

I'm fond of anything by Sondheim, but "Sweeney Todd" has a special place in my heart.

3. “The Producers,” “The Philadelphia Story,” “Hairspray,” “The Wedding Singer”…all were movies before they were musicals (okay “The Philadelphia Story” was a play and then a movie, and they changed its name when it became a musical, but whatever). What non-musical movie do you think should next get the musical treatment?

I can picture John Adams doing a strange version of "Hotel Rwanda". "Dancing at Lughnasa" (Brian Friel, I think) cries out for musical treatment.


. 4. Favorite song from a musical? Why?

"A Little Priest" from "Sweeney Todd", which I've done myself a couple of times...anything from "South Pacific"..."Summertime" from "Porgy and Bess...."Take Me or Leave Me" from "Rent"...the list goes on and on...

5. The most recent trend in Broadway musical revues is to construct a show around the oeuvre of a particular super-group or composer, where existing songs are woven together with some kind of through story. The most successful of these (“Jersey Boys” (The Four Seasons), “Mamma Mia” (ABBA), “Movin’ Out” (Billy Joel)) have made a mint, but many (“All Shook Up” (Elvis), “Hot Feet” (Earth, Wind and Fire)) have bombed. What great pop/rock singer/composer or super-group should be the next to be featured, and what might the story-line be for such a show?

I'm not terribly fond of that kind of treatment, but I'm a story/music snob, so just ignore me.


Bonus question for singer/actors. Favorite part you’ve ever played/sung.

Mrs. Lovett from "Sweeney Todd". Gotta love a part where you can be a lovable homicidal maniac. Of course, the requisite hairdo - which resembles Princess Leia-style danish pastries over each ear - is a negative, but it's a small price to pay.

Free Agents

We're no longer homeowners. The closing went very smoothly. We're waiting for the check to be deposited. Nice to have a nest egg for the future.

The house is shaping up. Litigator (my 20 y.o. son) will be arriving for a few days' visit tonight. He can opt for the cool but box-filled basement family room, which has the digital cable connection and the lumpy sofabed, or the small but civilized sister's bedroom upstairs with us. A little warmer, but closer to the bathroom. I'll guess he'll go with the basement.

It's been brutally hot here, and the A/C and the ceiling fans have not kept the bedrooms very cool, but they say the weather will break in a few days. I can hope. I go out for my early morning walks at 6:30 since I'm not supposed to be out in the heat. I wear a cap with cooling gel crystals in the hatband and a neck wrap that also has the cooling gel inside. I keep them in the frig overnight - rather odd, but they help keep my body temp down.

Time to unpack more boxes!