Thursday, September 13, 2007

I'm Running As Fast As I Can

...but I'm still not into the rhythm of this semester yet. The reading isn't any more intense than last year, the writing assignments are eminently manageable, but I'm still feeling like I'm mentally limping all the time.

The surprise of the semester thus far is how much I love Systematics. It may be the incredible lectures by our prof, who goes for 90 minutes without notes or a break. It may be stretching my brain in new ways. The readings are dense, but the lectures and the thought processes are pure bliss. I don't understand how the pieces fit together yet. I hope that will come with time. We shall see.

Church History also continues to delight me. The readings there aren't bad at all. I think I will write my first paper on the maternal warrior imagery in the Martyrdom of Perpetua, and how it harks back to Greco-Roman mythology. Or not. We shall see about that one, too.

I've got to spend an hour and a half in mutual interviews with another classmate in my Pastoral Care through Contemplative Listening class tomorrow. Then I've got to write a spiritual autobiography...I've done several of these as part of my discernment process. I do't know if anything radically new will come out after the interview but...we shall see.

Tomorrow I'm leading small group worship with my advisee group at my advisor's house. I've crafted something from the Iona Community's worship book, with music from Hymns of the Earth by Malcolm Dalglish. It will definitely be different. I expect the advisor and a couple of the students will like it, a couple will not, and a couple will just not get it. We shall see.

At some point, this semester will start to feel semi- in control. I wish that time would come sooner rather than later. The comforting thing is that several of my classmates report the same feeling of disjointedness. Interestingly, it is we mature students who report this. My ego would say that this is because we appreciate the experience more and want to do well, as opposed to the younger ones who take it for granted, but that would be pretty mean-spirited of me, and I am really trying to tone down the snarky factor this year. Will I be successful?

We shall see.


Eliz F said...

I found the addition of field ed to the mix middler year added to my own disjointed well as not being in as many classes with my classmates (as opposed to junior year when we were All Together All The Time, or so it seemed). I hope the semi-in-control feeling comes soon for you...I never quite achieved it!

Sophia said...

Hmm... I'm feeling pretty disjoined myself. We had the opening of the Tutu Education Center which was incredible but really confused the beginning of the semester. The end of our semester will be weird, with make up classes scheduled at weird times, a shorter reading period, and finals later into December. We also have an incoming class that is twice the size of last year's, so there's a lot of folks adjusting to seminary life here all at once.

I'm reeling from the addition of field ed, the number of things I've somehow become at least partially in charge of around the Close, and the number of papers we have due (I think it was 19 at last count) for the foundation courses. Whew!

Middler year is very very exciting - so many new opportunities, so many new things to learn, but wow, it's stressful!