Thursday, September 24, 2009

Ups and Downs

My trip to interview down south of here was interesting. Good people. Interesting challenges. A little troubling stuff. It will take them a long time to figure out who they will call, and I fear they won't be at a decision-making point when I already have an offer or offers in hand from the other places where I've interviewed. We shall see what happens. In any case, it was delightful talking with them; they had very thoughtful questions and even more important, great follow-on questions after I gave my first responses. And it is always great visiting the town where the church is, one of the most beautiful college towns in the country.

Things are moving along with the other two places. I may go back out to the Windy City in a few weeks for more conversation.

That's all the good news. The aggravating news is that the ex is being difficult about fulfilling his obligations toward StrongOpinions' college tuition. We had a most unpleasant phone conversation where he got quite angry with me when I gently reminded him of what we had contractually agreed to when we parted company. And he got angrier still when I asked him why he was angry. So the question is whether I haul him into court to enforce the agreement (would cost $$$ and would make StrongOpinions crazy) or whether I just cosign loans to cover her tuition. Sad that he still manipulates after all these years. Sad, too, that if I tried to enforce the agreement, it would cause StrongOpinions angst. Any ideas, folks, short of hiring my old attorney, The Red-headed Barracuda Lady, which would be a pricey proposition? Send the Texas Town Car of Justice, perhaps? (Old RevGalBlogPals may remember this reference.)

Time to go cook dinner....that usually brings the blood pressure back down to normal range...


Anonymous said...

I just had dinner with a nice lady who had in past wrangled a bit with an ex-husband, she decided not to pursue legal action for custody, due to her concern for her children's psychological health. Though they stayed with father, for two years unfairly, and she suffered, in end they came back to her, and ex-husband who passed away meantime, his sister who became christian is trying to make-up for it, so that's nice. And a reason to stay on diplomatic side. But it's hard. Since you're interviewing, if you can secure a position in an academic setting, often they give discounts in tuition to kids of employees. Just a small brainstorm.

mibi52 said...

Thanks, Anonymous, but none of the posts I am being considered for are academic, and SO is ensconced in an Ivy League's complicated. But the thought is helpful.

It would be nice if he behaved and did what he promised to do, but he didn't do that in the marriage, so at least he's consistent.

Rev Dr Mom said...

I have no suggestions, just lots of sympathy. Child support for the Kid ends when he turns 18 in November, and he won't contribute a penny towards college tuition. Sigh.

If it is in the divorce decree, it shouldn't cost big bucks to enforce it, though, should it? When the Kid's dad didn't pay his child support the state went after him. But maybe support for college is different.

mibi52 said...

The best line of the conversation was when he accused me of going into ministry and taking a vow of poverty so I would manipulate him into having to pay more for SO's tuition.

Umm, I didn't take a vow of poverty, although I'm not making what I made as a lobbyist. And why would I impoverish myself in all aspects of my life to manipulate him in one tiny aspect of it?

But wait, it really is all about him. Gotta laugh.

Enforcing something in the property settlement, as opposed to regular child support, unfortunately is a different animal and is pricey.

Thanks for the words of support. Remarkable how many of us have suffered through these sad, sad stories. Remarkable, too, how many of us have proven the adage "living well is the best revenge."