A number of friends of mine are spending the month of November -
the month of Thanksgiving - posting something they are thankful for on FaceBook
each day of the month. It’s a good spiritual discipline to reflect on all that
is good in our lives. Some people even keep gratitude journals to write in each
day.
In fact, it is a common practice for many of us as we sit around
the Thanksgiving table, usually overstuffed as the roast turkey, to share what
we are most thankful for. The list is predictable: family and other loved ones,
children and grandchildren, the delicious meal, a new job, a roof over our
heads and food on the table, recovery from an illness...all wonderful things.
And it is good to name the blessings that we have. I look around this church
and I see many familiar faces - I expect that each and every one of you has
faced a challenge, or many challenges, in your lives, but here you are, being
thankful to God for what you have.
Sometimes our thankfulness is framed by what we do not have to
suffer. After all, we watch the television news and we see those who are in
great distress- people whose homes have been destroyed by SuperStorm Sandy, or whose family has been killed by a bomb in a
war-torn region, or whose child has been abducted and cannot be found. We do not
face those awful situations, and we are grateful that we have been spared such
pain.
But I fear that sometimes our prayers of thanks do not include the
difficult things in our lives, the situations or events that try and test us.
In the Episcopal Church, we have a prayer of General Thanksgiving
that includes the line: We thank you also for those disappointments
and failures that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone.
Hmmm.
Thank you for disappointments and failures? Why would we do that?
That’s
the interesting thing: when good things happen, we say thank you to God for
those good things. When bad things happen to other people, we may not say it
out loud, but perhaps we think “thank God that didn’t happen to me.”
But
when bad things happen to us, do we ever imagine thanking God for those difficult
things? And yet we are transformed by the difficult things in very fundamental
ways, ways that may bring us closer to an understanding of who God is, ways
that may give us an insight into Christ's suffering on the cross. Do I believe
that God gives us troubles to help us grow? No, I don’t think God works that
way, but I do think he walks beside us through our troubles, and grieves as we
grieve. And I think God sees how our pain sometimes compels us to act in ways
we wouldn’t have considered before.
I
think of someone I know who lost his son to a terrible disease. He assumed that
he was fine, and then suddenly, he was gone. He still struggles with his grief,
but he has also taken that pain and turned it into energy by starting a charity
to fund research into the disease that took his son’s life. I think of another
person whose husband was hit by a car and left for dead at the side of the
road. Remarkably, he recovered from the trauma to his body and especially to
his brain. In the aftermath of that long road back to health, she wrote a book
about the experience that now is used as a teaching tool in medical schools
about the impact of traumatic brain injury on families. I think about a woman
at the end of her life, who talked with me about the things she did and the
things she didn’t do, and said “they all were important in their own way, even
the bad things. They led me down a path to God, to an honest conversation with
him. And at the times when I was most low, I learned more about him than at the
times when I was riding high.”
We
do learn lessons from the hard times, don’t we? Maybe about how resilient we
really are, or how creative we can be when we’ve run out of options, or maybe
just how tenacious, just gol-darned stubborn, we can be when we have to be. And
we would have never known those things if we hadn’t faced pain and loss and
grief.
Now,
I’m not saying we should volunteer to be miserable just for the learning
experience…that seems a little ridiculous somehow.
But what I am saying is that there is a gift of grace in
the midst of pain. You know that old joke: The joke concerns twin boys of five
or six. Worried that the boys had developed extreme personalities, one was a
total pessimist, the other a total optimist, their parents took them to a psychiatrist.
First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten
his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the
ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. “What’s the matter?” the psychiatrist asked, baffled. “Don’t you want to play with any of the toys?” “Yes,” the little boy bawled, “but if I did I’d only break them.”
ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. “What’s the matter?” the psychiatrist asked, baffled. “Don’t you want to play with any of the toys?” “Yes,” the little boy bawled, “but if I did I’d only break them.”
Next the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen
his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with
horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust,
the optimist emitted just the yelp of delight the psychiatrist had been hoping
to hear from his brother, the pessimist. Then he clambered to the top of the
pile, dropped to his knees, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop
with his bare hands.
“What do you think you’re doing?” the psychiatrist
asked, just as baffled by the optimist as he had been by the pessimist.
“With
all this manure,” the little boy replied, beaming, “there must be a pony in
here somewhere!”
Sometimes
we have to go through the shoveling to get to the pony.
So
on this day when we say thank you to our Creator for the many gifts he has
bestowed upon us, when we gather with joy and memories and a whole lot of food,
let’s not forget to say thank you to God for the less obvious gifts: patience
learned while recovering from a serious illness, the sweet memory of a loved
one who now dines at the heavenly banquet, the simplicity of a meal with less
food because we cannot afford the bounty of years past. Find the less-noticed
gift, and offer your thanks.
Amen.
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