I have ShrineMont on the brain right now. I
spent four days there this week at the bishop's clergy conference, and we will be going up to our parish retreat there next
weekend. It's a fabulous place, up in the mountains, with the most wonderful
trees and mountains and great food.
I can't ever think about ShrineMont without
remembering when our daughter was 13 or so, and we were getting ready to go as
a family up to our St Peter's parish retreat. My husband and I were talking about
some of the activities that we would enjoy, and my daughter looked at us and said,
"You don't get it. ShrineMont is all about the teenagers!"
That would have come as a surprise to those
of us who enjoyed the adult activities like games and hiking and late night
conversations over a congenial glass of wine. But to our daughter, none of that
was relevant. It was all about the teenagers, which really meant "it's all
about me."
It's all about me. We rarely say that aloud,
but I'll bet we often think it. We may not use those exact words, but we feel
it. When something happens that inconveniences us, we complain, because, after
all, it's all about me and my convenience. When the waiter, who is servicing
twleve different tables of customers, is a little slow refilling our coffee
cup, we grumble, because, after all, it's all about me and my need for a little
more caffeine. Even when good things happen, that little phrase "it's all
about me" seems to creep in. Get a promotion? Of course! I deserved it.
I'm a good worker. It's all about me. Hit the lottery? It's about time, because
it's my turn. and after all, it's all about me!
It's a common disorder, this compulsion to
view the world as something simply in service to our own wants and needs. And
it seems to be a bit of what James and John are afflicted with in today's
gospel. They start off the little kerfuffle among the disciples by asking for
special preference from Jesus. They must have gotten that idea from their
mother, who had asked Jesus for the same thing earlier in the gospel. I can
hear her now: "You boys go speak up for yourselves. You're never going to
get anywhere in the world if you don't ask for what you want. He likes you. Go
ask him."
And they go ask, because in their minds it
really is all about them, and Jesus
says, "you two have no idea what you're asking for." And then the
other disciples hear about it and they start saying "It's not fair. Treat
us well, too." Because in their minds, it is all about them as well.
And Jesus says, "well, yes, it is all
about you, but not necessarily in the way you seek. If you were trying to be a
king on this earth, it would be a really exciting thing, wouldn't it? Lots of
power and money, people doing what you ask, dancing girls and fancy
clothes and such. But my kingdom is
something else entirely. You want to be part of the elite in my kingdom? It
means you are willing to be a servant, not a power player. It means you do
whatever is necessary to make sure all are cared for and protected, not simply
worry about retaining your own power. It's about putting others ahead of you
and above you. Can you accept this part of the deal? It will be all about you,
but you as a servant, not as the served. So think about this before you say
this is what you want."
The disciples, of course, thought they would
get kingly glory by being with Jesus, where everyone around them would affirm,
"Yes, it's all about them! Aren’t they fabulous!"
But Jesus said what they would hear was more
like "it's all about you because it's your responsibility to help me and
take care of me."
That's the funny part of this business of
following Christ. It is all about us, and it's not all about us. It is when we
follow Jesus and recognize that his model of right living is about serving
rather than being served. It's not all about us when we get into "needy
child" mode, craving attention and needing things to make us feel better
or more important. That's just not Jesus'
way.
And this is why this is such a useful
passage as we bring our pledges to the altar in few minutes. By committing to
give to the work of the church for the coming year, we say "it's not all
about us." Each of us might use those funds for a newer car, or a bigger
house, or a few new outfits. But we know that while that might make us feel a
little more special in the short term, it doesn't help us help others in the
way that giving to the work of this parish can do. It is not about us as
individuals, it is about us as a part of a larger community, as a apart of the
world. It is about us doing what we can to bring God's reign to earth. It is
about us recognizing that being a follower of Jesus means we put the needs of
the world ahead of our own needs, and that this is the path to eternal glory.
It is not easy. We seem to be
wired to think of ourselves first. But Jesus says we have the power to do some
strategic rewiring of our priorities, and this is just what we do together
today
So as you bring your pledge forward today,
know that you are saying "it is all about me. It is about what I can do in
my own way to help change the world. It is about what I choose to do for others
rather than what I insist on for myself. It is about serving before taking, about
God before me."
St Ignatius Loyola captured the essence of
what it means to serve Christ and the world in a prayer written 500 years ago:
Eternal Word,
only-begotten Son of God, teach me true generosity. Teach me to serve you as
you deserve. To give without counting the cost, to fight heedless of wounds, to
labor without seeking rest, to sacrifice myself without thought of any reward
save the knowledge that I have done your will.
It is all about me, and about you, and most
importantly, about God.
Amen.
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