It looks like instead of having God make it easy for me by leaving me with one option on the call front, I may have choices to make. Sigh.
I think the reason this fills me with such dread is that it means I will have to tell one or possibly two organizations "no."
I've hated hearing that word in my own life, so I hate having to say it.
The tough thing about all this is that the options all are mostly wonderful, and all have some very small negatives. They are all different. I can visualize myself in any of them, doing good work. It is not obvious to me that one is a better fit, or that I feel more called to one than the other, or that my motivations for being attracted to one or the other are not good ones.
If you're offered a gorgeous red apple, an aromatic and luscious peach, and a bowl of beautiful cherries, which do you choose if you are forced to choose one? And how do you let go of the guilt of not choosing the other two?
Prayers for discernment, please.
You've got them. The prayers, I mean. To answer your question, I;d probably make fruit salad, but I know that;s not really an option here,is it?
ReplyDeleteYes, if there were a way I could make fruit salad rather than making a choice, I would, too. Thanks for the thought and the prayers, my friend.
ReplyDeleteChoosing between good and bad apples would be a simple thing. What challenge there is in the grace of abundance! I will hold you in prayer, too.
ReplyDeleteBut it's like... being part of God's kitchen staff. It's a big commercial kitchen, with lots of prep stations; none of us is the only cook out there. You probably make a stellar cherry pie, while others have really great recipes for peach cobbler or apple crisp.
So choosing the cherries is not anything to feel guilty over; instead, it is actually good news for everyone. You get to do work for which you are well-trained and suited, and you also free up the peaches for that excellent cobbler baker.
Prayers, assuredly...and suddenly feeling grateful for the C of E system that precludes you applying for more than one job at a time, and compells churches to interview all short-listed candidates on a single day. I know I could never choose. Ever!
ReplyDeleteChoices are hard, but ultimately a wonderful thing! Good luck, and prayers!
ReplyDelete