I'm sitting on the couch feeling like cwap because I overdid it exercising (doing too much in the heat when you've got MS is a no-no, but it was such a beautiful afternoon).
In Liturgics today, we discussed the Rite of Marriage, and the church's response to remarriage for people who were divorced, and it seemed to me that some of the young single people and young marrieds were being very quick to judge those who were remarrying after divorce. Yes, those of us who have been divorced and remarried DO understand what the vows say, and we DON'T enter into marriage lightly, and sometimes ugliness happens that is beyond our control (like a husband who strays, not once but repeatedly, or a husband who beats his wife)...don't sit there all pious and say that marriage is forever when you haven't lived in the real world. Yes, it's forever, and that's what we all try for and hope for and pray for. But sometimes the bad stuff happens, and then what a person needs is not judgment but pastoral counseling and support and recognition that God forgives and loves us. Sometimes God also gives us someone worthy to try and love again. And that is a great gift of grace.
Alright, I'll get down off my soapbox now.
Deeply sad because a dear friend just a couple of years older than me has just been diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic cancer. She's got young adult triplets and a daughter who's a senior in college. She and her husband just bought a vacation/possible retirement home that they have been fixing up over the past few months.
This. Sucks.
I've got papers that I have to gear up for, but tonight, I just don't feel up to it.
I'm looking ahead to Wednesday, when a wonderful preacher will be at Big Old Seminary to celebrate MLK Jr's birthday; Friday morning, when I get to sing with a heavenly quartet, doing the Vittoria Improperia for our Good Friday service; and Friday night, when I'll be a ringer in the choir for my Field Ed parish, doing a Tenebrae service at a senior citizen community. I need music right now. When I have trouble praying, I sing.
I need a little spiritual edification right now. I know the Resurrection is coming. I'm just facing Good Friday a little early tonight.
Oh, and the Nats tanked on Opening Day...
Looks like you got some spam there, Mibi!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I wasn't in that liturgics class with you, I would have spit nails. Sometimes life just sucks. I think in my case the divorce wasn't the sin, the marriage was! We had folks wanting to boycott our wedding as we were so obviously wrong for each other--to everyone but us. We stuck it out 8 miserable years beyond what we should have, and I was single for many, many years before my remarriage. In the evangelical circles in which I then moved, murder was a more forgivable sin than divorce. I joined the Episcopal Church as I wanted to be in a place where I wasn't under eternal judgement. God forgives but people don't.
Enough of that! Miss you all...
Mibi,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for the way things are going right now. Hang in there, the Resurrection IS coming.
I'm sorry to hear about the ignorance expressed in your liturgics class. My husband and I are "young marrieds" (early 30's, married close to 5 years) and he was divorced before. First wife strayed and didn't want to work it out. Sometimes it happens and that's just life. It's a shame some folks have trouble with that.
Yuck. Sometimes seminary just isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Oh to be young and never experienced the trials and tribulations of life.
ReplyDeleteI never expected myself to be one who was divorced, but what do you say to someone who says they don't love you anymore and don't want to remain married to them?
I never wanted that to happen, but it did. And then, someone did begin to love me and I him. And I learned what it was to be in a healthy relationship.
I would love for it to be a perfect world, but as you get older (and you and I are close to the same age), you know that people are very imperfect, and make mistakes, and God forgives, over and over again. Time will offer to the young folks at seminary what happens.
Be careful with the heat and exercise also.. peace...
> Oh to be young and never experienced the trials and tribulations of life.
ReplyDeleteCathy nailed it.
And I'm so sorry about your friend.
I do agree that the weather is a temptation all the way aruond.
Holy week is tough on us.
ReplyDeleteAnother perspective: some of us are young and have been hurt by the "trials and tribulations of life" by being on the periphery. Sometimes youth means self-righteousness, but I wonder if they're speaking from their woundedness, just as those who have remarried are.
ReplyDeleteMrs. M, point well taken. By the same token, I did hear some wonded hearts speaking, but also some very rigid views that felt rather judging. Not an easy subject.
ReplyDeleteAbout 3 years ago I dropped into a black hole – four months of absolute terror. I wanted to end my life, but somehow [Holy Spirit], I reached out to a friend who took me to hospital. I had three visits [hospital] in four months – I actually thought I was in hell. I imagine I was going through some sort of metamorphosis [mental, physical & spiritual]. I had been seeing a therapist [1994] on a regular basis, up until this point in time. I actually thought I would be locked away – but the hospital staff was very supportive [I had no control over my process]. I was released from hospital 16th September 1994, but my fear, pain & shame had only subsided a little. I remember this particular morning waking up [home] & my process would start up again [fear, pain, & shame]. No one could help me, not even my therapist [I was terrified]. I asked Jesus Christ to have mercy on me & forgive me my sins. Slowly, all my fear has dissipated & I believe Jesus delivered me from my “psychological prison.” I am a practicing Catholic & the Holy Spirit is my friend & strength; every day since then has been a joy & blessing. I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities. John 3: 8, John 15: 26, are verses I can relate to, organically. He’s a real person who is with me all the time. I have so much joy & peace in my life, today, after a childhood spent in orphanages [England & Australia]. God LOVES me so much. Fear, pain, & shame, are no longer my constant companions. I just wanted to share my experience with you [Luke 8: 16 – 17].
ReplyDeletePeace Be With You
Micky
Thanks, Mickey, I appreciate your witness to the power of Christ in our lives.
ReplyDelete